You said that you were 25, but your diaper says otherwise
I was going to change you, but you told me lies
I really loved you, but now I want you to die
I caught you cheating, don't even lie
Oh, wait, that was me, you're still a bad guy
So now I might as well go to a buffet and cry
Just leave me alone, I'm tryna eat this pie

You sprayed my heart with mace
I wanna throw a fire hydrant at your face
Don't run away, it's not a race
Too lazy to make lyrics, so here's a blank space

You can't leave me, 'cause I'm pregnant
If you leave, I'll make it an Ellen segment
He said, bitch you thought, I'm staying independent
Besides, you look like an eggplant
You broke my heart, so I will break your neck
Now the cops are comin', aw, heck
Maybe I shouldn't make death threats
It's a love story, baby just say, Shrek