[Chorus]
How can you leave me on my own?
How can you leave me on my own?
When did you say that you're coming home?
How can you leave me on my own?

[Verse 1]
When you leave, I become a moron
A beer-swilling, time-killing moron
I surgically remove all of the green food from my diet
I know I should be reading but I'm too lazy to try it
I keep the TV on all day to chase away the quiet when you leave

[Chorus]
How can you leave me on my own?
How can you leave me on my own?
How can you leave me on my own?
How can you leave me on my own?
When did you say that you're coming home?
How can you leave me on my own?

[Verse 2]
When you leave, I become a dickhead
A bad-smelling, couch-dwelling dickhead
I drink too many cups of tea and eat too many biscuits
I think about going out, decide not to risk it
I look at naked ladies cause I'm too weak to resist it when you leave
[Chorus]
How can you leave me on my own?
How can you leave me on my own?

How can you leave me on my own?
How can you leave me on my own?
It's not the same talking on the phone
How can you leave me on my own?

[Verse 3]
When you leave, I become a caveman
A bed-head, brain-dead caveman
I stare at all the photos and the texts that you have sent me
I curl up with the dogs, I think they're starting to resent me
I want to go to bed but the bed is just too empty when you leave

[Chorus]
How can you leave me on my own?
How can you leave me on my own?
How can you leave me on my own?
How can you leave me on my own?
When did you say that you're coming home?
How can you leave me on my own?