[Verse 1]
Norman and Norma got married in Cromer
April 1983
It could have been warmer but Norman and Norma
Were happy as they’d ever been
They flew to Majorca and swam in the water
It felt just like having a bath
The piña coladas hit Norma hard
And she fell into bed with a laugh
And she said

[Chorus]
Oh, Norman, it’s never ever felt like this before
And, oh, Norman, I’ve never really known your kiss before
Oh no, Norman, Norman

[Verse 2]
Norman and Norma had three lovely daughters
Nadia, Nora and Neive
The firm Norma worked at wouldn’t take her back
After maternity leave
They dreamt of Majorca but couldn’t afford to
Go on Norman’s salary
So they went to Cromer, got double pneumonia
And Norma remembered when she used to say
[Chorus]
Oh, Norman, it’s never ever felt like this before
And, oh, Norman, I’ve never really known your kiss before
Oh no, Norman, Norman

[Verse 3]
Twenty years on and the children have gone
And they’re both at a bit of a loss
They’ve tried salsa classes and growing tomatoes
But nothing is getting them off
Then one day in Clacton there’s a re-enactment
Of Normans and Saxons, and this
Gets their juices flowing, before long they’re going
And fighting like it’s 1066!
And she says

[Chorus]
Oh, Norman, it’s never ever felt like this before
And, oh, Norman, I’ve never really known such bliss before
Oh no, Norman

[Outro]
Oh, no, Norman, yeah
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, Norman
It’s never ever felt like this before
And, oh, Norman, Norman
Norman