Original Cast of SpongeBob SquarePants, The New Musical
I’m Not a Loser
[SQUIDWARD]
I'm not a loser
I don't secretly hate myself
I'm not singing this to no one
It's not the case that no one cares...
I'm not a failure
I don't not have talent
When others see me, they can't see
The nobody that isn't there
(spoken)
Hold on, that's a triple negative. You can't not see nobody. Because I'm not nobody, which can't not be seen. Let me start over. 

(sung)
My life's not empty
They don't not like me at all
I don't not leave the house
'Cause I don't not prefer to stay at home
I don't stink
I'm not a waste
I'm not all alone in thinking
That I am not all alone
(spoken)
Maybe I am a loser!

[SEA ANEMONES]
Hey Squidward!
[SQUIDWARD, spoken]
Huh?

[SEA ANEMONES]
You're not delirious with despair
And you're not calling true things false
Hey Squidward!

[SQUIDWARD, spoken]
This is weird. 

[SEA ANEMONES]
You're not hallucinating this sea anemone chorus line at all!

[SQUIDWARD, spoken]
I'm not?

[SEA ANEMONES & SQUIDWARD]
You're not a loser
You don't secretly hate yourself
You're not singing this to no one
It's not the case that no one cares (Okay!)
You're not a failure
You don't not have talent
When others see you they can't see
The nobody that isn't there
[SQUIDWARD & SEA ANEMONES]
I'm not a loser! (Not a loser...) (Ooh...)
They don't not like me at all (No!)
I don't not leave the house
'Cause I don't not prefer to stay at home! (Stay at home!)
I don't stink! (You don't stink...)
I'm not a waste (You're not a waste...)
I'm not all alone in thinking
That I am not all alone!

Clarinet solo!

[SQUIDWARD, spoken]
Look at me now, Mama!

[Dance Break]

[SQUIDWARD, SEA ANEMONES, BOTH]
I'm not a loser! (You're not a loser...) (Ooh...)
They don't not like me at all (No!)
I don't not leave the house (Leave the house)
'Cause I don't not prefer to stay at home! (Stay at home!)

[BACKUP SINGER]
Yeah...yeah...yeah...stay-at-home!!
[SQUIDWARD, spoken]
Hey! Shh!

[SQUIDWARD]
I don't stink
I'm not a waste
I'm not all alone in thinking
That I'm not, not!
Not all— alone

[SEA ANEMONES]
You are not alone
You are not alone
You are not, not, not, not
Not, not, not, not, not, not
Not alone
You are not, not, not alone!