[Verse 1]
This was a triumph
I'm making a note here, "Huge success"
It's hard to overstate my satisfaction
Aperture Science
We do what we must because we can
For the good of all of us, except the ones who are dead

[Chorus]
But there's no sense crying over every mistake
You just keep on trying 'til you run out of cake
And the science gets done, and you make a neat gun
For the people who are still a̵̩̽l̵̘͝i̵̜͐-̶͍̊l̸͖̀i̶͚͗-̵̻̃l̵̺͆i̵̤͐i̸͈̓i̶̞̕ị̶̛į̴́ï̶͓i̶̪͝i̶̠͝i̷̺̽i̵̻͗i̴͍̋į̷̀ȉ̵̺i̷̙̋i̶̛͓i̴̱̾i̵̼̋ĩ̵̹i̴͕̽i̴̇ͅị̷̚ì̴͕i̸͒ͅi̸̳͌i̷̛̭í̶̡ì̶̟i̸̞̓i̷̜͝i̶͇̍i̶͖̇i̴̤̒i̴̜̒ĩ̸̩ĭ̵͕i̷̝͊

Time out for a second. That wasn't supposed to happen

You think you're doing some damage? Two plus two is- -ten

Hello and, again, welcome to the Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment center. We hope your brief detention in the relaxation vault has been a pleasant one. We are now ready to begin the test proper
Who are you? What is that? Oh, what's that? What's that?
One teaspoon grated orange rhubarb
Ooh, that thing has numbers on it
Fish-shaped candies
Ohh, what's in here? [Scream]
For your own safety and the safety of others, please refrain from touching- [bzzzzzt] -Por favor bordón de fallar Muchos gracias de fallar gracias- -stand back. The portal will open in three. two. one
I see you
Didn't we have some fun, though? Remember when the platform was sliding into the fire pit and I said "Goodbye" and you were like "NO WAY" and then I was all "We pretended we were going to murder you"? That was great!

Rrr, I hate you

Goodbye
Goodbye