[Verse 1]
Long ago in days of yore
It all began with a god named Thor
There were Vikings and boats
And some plans for a furniture store
It's not a bodega, it's not a mall
And they sell things for apartments smaller than mine
As if there were apartments smaller than mine

[Chorus]
Ikea: Just some oak and some pine and a handful of Norsemen
Ikea: Selling furniture for college kids and divorced men
Everyone has a home
But if you don't have a home you can buy one there

[Verse 2]
So rent a car or take the bus
Lay your cash down and put your trust
In the land where the furniture folds to a much smaller size
Billy the bookcase says hello
And so does a table whose name is Ingo
And the chair is a ladder-back birch but his friends call him Karl

[Chorus]
Ikea: Just some oak and some pine and a handful of Norsemen
Ikea: Selling furniture for college kids and divorced men
Everyone has a home
But if you don't have a home you can buy one there
[Bridge]
Ikea: Plywood, brushed steel
Ikea: Meatballs, tasty
Ikea: Allen wrenches
All of them for free
All of them for me

[Verse 3]
I'm sorry I said Ikea sucks
I just bought a table for 60 bucks
And a chair and a lamp
And a shelf and some candles for you
I was a doubter just like you
Till I saw the American dream come true
In New Jersey, they got a goddamned Swedish parade

[Chorus]
Ikea: Just some oak and some pine and a handful of Norsemen
Ikea: Selling furniture for college kids and divorced men
Everyone has a home
But if you don't have a home you can buy one there