{REBECCA]
I just made a new buddy
He and I bonded right away
It was a piece of cake
With no emotional stakes
I got only good things to say
About my friend's dad
My friend's dad

It's all the fun of having a dad
Without the painful history
[BOB]
She has fun
[REBECCA]
And he's a literal drunk
But that don't bother me
'Cause he's not my dad
He's my friend's dad

It's the healthiest relationship I've had with a man
That fact I must confess
He doesn't push my buttons
Except the buttons on this cute dress
[BOB]
Doot, doot, doot
[REBECCA]
It's nothing but platonic
His bigotry's ironic
(Spoken interlude)
[BOB]
I like you. You barely complain, for a Jewish
[REBECCA]
Oh, you!

(Song)
{REBECCA}
If we were related
We'd probably fight a lot
Wait, what about Jews?
[BOB]
Here, have some more booze!
[REBECCA]
What was I saying? Oh, well! I forgot
Glug glug! My friend's dad
My friend's dad

[BOB]
And when she's not around
I think about her naked
[REBECCA]
Huh?
[BOB]
Nothing, kiddo
[REBECCA]
My friend's dad!