[REBECCA]
It's come to this, like I knew it would
Since I'm now single for good
I know just what I gotta do
I gotta go get myself a buttload of cats
[PAULA, VALENCIA, AND HEATHER]
A buttload of cats!
[REBECCA]
A buttload of cats
[PAULA, VALENCIA, AND HEATHER]
Way too many cats
[REBECCA]
When you're a permanent bachelorette
It's mandatory that you go out and get
A buttload of cats
Oh, yeah!

I walk myself down to the Lonely Lady Cat Store
The smell is overwhelming inside
This is the future smell of my house
It's the smell of my dreams that have died
[CUSTOMER]
And cats!
[REBECCA]
I walk up to the cat shelf
Where the cats are labeled big and small
The saleslady asks, "Is there one you like?"
And I state, "I'll take them all!"
I want a buttload of cats
[CATS]
Meow a buttload of cats
[REBECCA]
Give me a buttload of cats
[CATS]
Meow a buttload of cats
Meow
[REBECCA]
The saleslady's pumped, she's closin' early
And headed home to her sad walk-up apartment
Filled with her own buttload of cats
[CATS]
Meow meow meow
[REBECCA]
That she got at a discount
[CATS]
Meow meow meow
[REBECCA]
'Cause she works at the cat store
[CATS]
Meow meow meow
Meow meow meow
Meow meow meow meow meow
Why have cats over time become
Synonymous with loneliness?
We gotta work on our collective image
We need a new publicist
The ironic part is, we're not that friendly
If you're lonely, we might make it worse
Also, we sleep, like, sixteen hours a day
Have you considered getting a dog?

[REBECCA]
Nope, I want a buttload of you guys
[CATS]
Okay, we warned you
[REBECCA]
A buttload of cats!
[CATS]
We're gonna ruin your couch
[REBECCA]
There's a lot of evidence that organisms in cat poop make you crazy
[CATS]
Yes, we saw that article in The Atlantic. And then we peed on The Atlantic
[REBECCA]
But I still want a buttload of cats