(Spoken Intro)
[JESSIE]
The hell?

(Song)
[REBECCA]
Story, story, what's your story?
Story, story, what's your crime?
What got you here?
Rage, lust, or fear?
We all got a story 'cause we're doing time

Ra ta ta
Ra ta ta
Ra ta ta

(Spoken Interlude)
Tell your story. Ra ta ta

[JESSIE]
Um. OK, fine. My boyfriend had meth in the glove compartment of our car and I got pulled over for something else and a cop found it

[REBECCA]
Ooh! Well, did you dump that good-for-nothing drug planting boyfriend!

[JESSIE]
No, we’re still together. I love him
[REBECCA]
Oh. Well, did you at least tell the cops that it was his meth?

[JESSIE]
I mean, I could have turned him in, but my boyfriend and I have a son. I can’t risk our child having both parents in jail

[REBECCA]
That's true. That's-that's a good point

(Song)
Story, story, let's hear another story
Story, story, that one was just sad
What does your story say
About the patriarch-ay?
We all have got stories 'cause we did bad

Ra ta ta
Ra ta ta
Ra ta ta

(Spoken Interlude)
Story, go! Ra ta ta

[HANIFA]
Okay! I stole a sweater from the mall
[REBECCA]
Ooh! Had you been stealing all your life?! Was this the culmination of a life of kleptomania? Or were you doing it to stick it to the problematic fashion industry?

[HANIFA]
No..., the heat went out in my apartment and I couldn’t afford a sweater, so I stole one

[WHITE INMATE]
Oh my God, I stole a sweater too! I got two months, how long are you in for?

[HANIFA]
Three years

[WHITE INMATE]
I'm so sorry

(Song)
[REBECCA]
Story, story, these are barely stories
They're just bleak anecdotes with no start or end

(Spoken Interlude)
Go tell-tell your story, tell your story

[CYBIL]
Sure, I have a story. I'm in here for murder
[REBECCA]
Ooh! Murder! Juicy! Ra ta ta

[CYBIL]
While I was driving, my daughter texted me that she was in the hospital and I got so distracted that, I hit a teenager who was crossing the street and he died

(Song)
[REBECCA]
Story, story, oh my God with that story
Story, story, take away her chair

(Spoken Outro)
[WHITE INMATE]
I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry

[REBECCA]
Okay, you know what, I’m just gonna share my story, because you guys aren’t really versed with a sense of story structure, so I’m gonna show you how it’s done

I was a no-good, manipulative love addict with undiagnosed borderline personality disorder. I swindled! DRUM! I cheated! DRUM! I called out a hit on my ex-boyfriend’s girlfriend! DRUM DRUM! Then, one day, this guy Trent came into my life. He was ironically just like me. And he tried to kill the man I love, so I pushed him off a building! And then, when I plead guilty just for like, metaphorical symbolism, the judge knew I was innocent so she didn’t accept my plea but I wanted to go to jail anyway

[JESSIE]
Wait, what?

[CYBIL]
You don't have to be here?

[JASMINE]
You chose to be here?

[REBECCA]
Wait
Ra ta ta
Ra ta ta
Ra ta ta