[Verse 1]
I still remember, third of December, me in your sweater
You said it looked better on me than it did you
Only if you knew, how much I liked you
But I watched your eyes as she

[Pre-Chorus]
Walks by
What a sight for sore eyes, brighter than a blue sky
She's got you mesmerized while I die

[Chorus]
Why would you ever kiss me?
I'm not even half as pretty
You gave her your sweater, it's just polyester
But you like her better
I wish I were Heather

[Verse 2]
Watch as she stands with her, holding your hand
Put your arm 'round her shoulder, now I'm getting colder
But how could I hate her? She's such an angel
But then again, kinda wish she were dead as she

[Pre-Chorus]
Walks by
What a sight for sore eyes, brighter than a blue sky
She's got you mesmerized while I die
[Chorus]
Why would you ever kiss me?
I'm not even half as pretty
You gave her your sweater, it's just polyester
But you like her better
I wish I were Heather

[Bridge]
Oh, I wish I were Heather
Oh, oh, oh

[Chorus]
Why would you ever kiss me?
I'm not even half as pretty
You gave her your sweater, it's just polyester
But you like her better
I wish I were Heather