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Alaska Thunderfuck

"Where Are the Jokes?"

[Verse 1: Trinity the Tuck]
My last name was Taylor, but I changed it for branding
Now I'm "The Tuck," but, girl, these jokes ain't landing
Come on, All Stars 4, address the elephant in the room
Eureka, sweetheart, just for once, this sh*t ain't about you
Crashed and burned on the roast, where are the f*cking jokes, whore?
Now I'm back on the mic, here to even the score
'Cause if I'm gonna bomb, I'm going off like Hiroshima
And after I'm done, you're gonna have to call FEMA

[Interlude 1: Trinity the Tuck]
I'm making money off of my tagline just like all you other b*tches, right?
Don't need no set-up, don't need no punchline
Just say it in a high voice, hashtag it, repeat it until you hate it
Make some merchandise and everyone will eat it up, b*tch

[Chorus: Trinity the Tuck]
Where are the jokes?
(Um, girl are those crickets?)
Where are the jokes?
(I think you guys are forgetting, I'm a man in a dress, it's funny)
Where are the jokes?
(I don't understand, it did well on Twitter)
Where are the jokes?
(Alright, let's try this roast again, in three… two… one)

[Verse 2: Trinity the Tuck]
Naomi Smalls, girl, you bombed the roast too
Good thing you've got legs, 'cause none of your jokes do
They call you Farrah Moan because, actually, pass
It's hard to do stand-up when you're flat on your ass
Don't want Monét X Change, I just want my money back
Hitting all the wrong notes, b*tch, my ears feel attacked
Manila can't get robbed 'cause it's mine for the taking
Sewed that makeover challenge while my ass was still shaking

[Interlude 2: Trinity the Tuck]
Miss Heart, facts are facts, your wig is on the ceiling and your jokes got a slow clap
Gia, honey, your Snatch Game had absolutely no jokes
Miss Jasmine Masters, more like Masters of None
Latrice and Monét, your improv needs some improv-ment
Hello, Villain-tina, it's me, reality, you're perfect in every way, except your personality

[Chorus: Trinity the Tuck]
Where are the jokes?
(Girl, I swear I killed that on set, I blame the edit)
Where are the jokes?
(Okay, okay, enough of the womp-womp foley, damn)
Where are the jokes?
(I'm falling on my ass up here, and I have no padding)
(You try it sometime, you janky whore)
Where are the jokes?
(You know, it's just, the audience just doesn't get me)

[Verse 3: Alaska Thunderf*ck]
Wow, another Drag Race album, gee, aren't we lucky?
Just call up Alaska, she'll do a track with anybody
Thought The Tuck would come in last or somewhere in that vicinity
I said, "not another white b*tch, Team Anyone But Trinity"
But who's laughing now? Sure ain't Miss Legs or Brown Cow
They're asking, "where are the jokes?" They're right here, so bow down

[Interlude 3: Trinity the Tuck]
I'm Trinity the Tuck and I have something to say
Hello, it's me, Delusion, and I'm over here feeling my oats
Good God, get a grip, girl
You can't spell "legendary" without "dairy," but you can wear too much highlighter
Put on your maxi-pad dresses and soak it up, b*tches, #bitter
Oh, and f*ck your feelings

[Outro: Trinity the Tuck & Alaska Thunderf*ck]
Where are the jokes?
(Oh, no, girl, I'm not nervous)
(Well, you seem a little bit shaky, so…)
Where are the jokes?
(Alaska, that's not gonna be my narrative)
(I'm just the Gia Gunn impersonator at this point, I mean)
Where are the jokes?
Where are the jokes?
No, seriously, where are they?

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #

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