[Verse 1]
It's such a lovely day, let's go out and play!
It may be Halloween, but it feels like early May
Let's splash in muddy puddles, laugh and cuddle, run around and dig 
Then maybe later we'll dress up and trick or treat with Daddy Pig
But while I play and snort and chortle, I unearth a creepy portal
Slip and fall and warp to hell, my goodness me this place is awful
Everything is wrong, and everything is horrible
The good has turned to bad—
Oh no, I think I might be sick!

[Chorus]
I'm cursed
To spend my life in this hell
Bratwurst, and crispy bacon aswell
But what's worse
Is that I look rather strange
I'd rather be a ham than spend my life so downright deranged

[Verse 2]
I'm moving gingerly, as quiet as a mouse
Everything is back to front, I really have my doubts
Our childhood home is now a butchershop, they're selling little snouts
And over there's the school, by George I think it's now a slaughterhouse
The big bad wolf is loose and up to all his tricks
In Piggy Hell he huffs and puffs and even blows down bricks
I just saw my reflection in a puddle and I screamed
I've turned into a monster, surely this is just a dream?
[Chorus]
I'm cursed
To spend my life in this hell
Bratwurst, and crispy bacon aswell
But what's worse
Is that I look rather strange
I'd rather be a ham than spend my life so downright deranged

[Verse 3]
I guess I'm evil, I'm a monster, I'm a freak
I tried to squeal but just let out a ghastly shriek
I want to go home to my family, before I'm in too deep
To splash in muddy puddles and to play some hide and seek

The air smells like bacon, my mouth begins to foam
It's raining red salami, but through Hell I have to roam
I splish, I splash in every puddle which I do not know
But then I find the perfect one, and flash, it sends me home

[Chorus]
I'm cursed
To spend my life in this hell
Bratwurst, and crispy bacon aswell
But what's worse
Is that I look rather strange
I'd rather be a ham than spend my life so downright deranged