[Verse 1]
Bell on door clanks, come on in
Floyd observes my hairy chin
Sit down chair, don't be afraid
Steamed hot towel on my face

[Chorus]
I'm ashamed
I'm ashamed
I'm ashamed

[Verse 2]
Barney ties me to the chair
I can't see, I'm really scared
Floyd breathes hard, I hear a zip
Pee-pee pressed against my lips

[Chorus]
I'm ashamed
I'm ashamed
I'm ashamed

[Verse 3]
I sense others in the room
Opie, Aunt Bee, I presume
They take turns and cut me up
I die smothered in Andy's clutch
[Outro]
I'm ashamed
I'm ashamed
I'm ashamed