[CASEY'S VOICE]

Hey, it's Casey
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah

(beep)

[REGGIE]

This is your bailout, sweetie
Your bailout, honey
I'm calling to bail you out
You can tell him your dad's in the hospital
Your building's on fire
That's all you need to say
And you're free and on your way

It's your bestie calling
It's Reggie to the rescue
Here to save you from another catastrophic blind date
I've done it time and again
Saved you from horrendous men
All those losers
Who should never be allowed to procreate

Like that dentist with the foul breath
That made you wanna yack
Or that hippie with the hair
Growing only on his back
Or that guy obsessed with Disney
Second thought, I'll cut him slack
Though his love of princesses was rather suspect
But I'm digressing, I'm obsessing
You did not pick up your cell
Which means you either didn't hear it ring
Or things are going well
So email, call, or Facebook
Tell me if you like this guy
Okay, that's it, I love you lots
Need you forever, bye

This is your bailout, sweetie
Your bailout, honey
I'm calling to bail you out
You can tell him your grandma broke her hip
Or your dog ate some chocolate
That's all you need to say
And you're free and on your way

Later, bitch!