WAITER
I've made my career as a waiter
And my job, well, it never gets old
I've seen romances bloom
Wild affairs meet their doom
Every night, some new sight to behold

Yet I find, as I wait on my tables
And serve them their baskets of bread
I can't help but think
As they pick out a drink
Of what I would order instead...

I'd order love
Delicious, well-seasoned and rare
I'd order love
A big enough portion to share
Bring me all of the heartache
A small side of woe
That flavor of longing
That I long to know
I don't need a menu
Just someone to care for my heart
Yes, I'd order love
There's no better dish to start
I'd order love
That's spicy and steaming and hot
Oh, I'd order love
So juicy - it hits the spot
I crave nights full of passion
All drizzled with lust
Breakfast in bed
Is an absolute must
Then bring on the marriage
But don't top it off with divorce
Yes, I'd order love
It's the very best second course

I'm tired of always observing
Loving couples, all dreamy and sweet
For years, I've been patiently waiting
When's it gonna be my time to eat?
This lack of attention's unnerving
I fear that I'm losing my grip
If cupid keeps up this substandard service
I'm screwing him out of his tip!
He don't get no tip!
Big finish!
I'd order love
Appetizer, main course and dessert - ball change!
Yes, I'd order love
Even if it was peppered with hurt
'Cause at least I could savor
The way that it feels
To not eat alone
For each one of my meals
There's a lot on the menu -
I'd have something else if I could
But I'd order love
'Cause there's nothing else on this earth
That tastes so good!
Mmm, it tastes so good
Oh so very good
So good, so good