CASEY'S VOICEMAIL
Hey, it's Casey
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah

REGGIE
This is your bailout
Sweetie, your bailout
Honey, I'm callin' to bail you out
And you still aren't answering
Your phone, now I'm pissed
I mean really

[Spoken]
Wait, hold on
Stop the music!
I said stop the music!
I don't wanna sing anymore!
Shit!

Okay, seriously, bitch?
What's the deal?
'Cause this is like my third
Unreturned phone call tonight
Which has never happened before
And it's really starting to make me
Feel desperate
And Reggie doesn't do desperate
Correct me if I'm wrong
But did we not agree
The night that we met doing karaoke
And, and bonding over 'Love is a Battlefield'
That we would be best friends forever?!
Well I'm fairly certain BFF's pick up the phone
When the other one calls, right?!
I mean, what is going on here?
One date and you're already
Dumping me for this guy?
Could it really be going that well?
Or did he just, like, shove you
In the back of his creepy white van
And now your phone's lying in a ditch
At the side of the road somewhere!
You're not dead, are you?
Oh my god, you're totally dead!
And he's, he's, he's, he--
Oh! Oh! He's making a dress out of your skin
At this very moment
And you're never even gonna get this voicemail!
That's it, Case
I'm comin' to the rescue!
Later, skank!