[Chorus: Ethan, Tommy, Jerome & All]
We're just blonde boys
Doin' what blonde boys do
Bleached hair, fair skin
Makes the ladies swoon
We're just blonde boys
Doin' what blonde boys do
Chillin' out, maxin'
Relaxin' all cool!
We're just blonde boys
Doin' what blonde boys do
Catch me in the tub
A quarter half-passed two
I'm Tommy
I'm Ethan
And I'm Jerome
Here's a one-way ticket
To the blonde boy zone!

[Verse 1: Ethan]
What's up? I'm Ethan and I'm fourteen
Slaying all these women with my massive peen
I've got a couple of hobbies besides being blonde
Like performing for the boys with my ribbon baton
I drink lots of soda and hang out at the mall
I used to skateboard but I knocked out a ball
All I need in life is my boys and my tub
Now I'm gonna pass it to my number one bub
[Verse 2: Tommy]
Hey-o I'm Tommy and I'm nineteen
I like to lift weights and wear sunscreen
SPF 100? I hope it's in stock
'Cause I rub it on my nips and the bell-end of my cock
The public, the media, they're on our side
With skin so white we've got nothing to hide
TV, and movies, they're made for us
This lack of pigment is a major plus

[Chorus: Ethan, Tommy, Jerome & All]
We're just blonde boys
Doin' what blonde boys do
Jerome almost let me
Have a sip of his brew!
We're just blonde boys
Doin' what blonde boys do
We're boilin' in the juh
Cookin' like a stew
We're just blonde boys
Doin' what blonde boys do
Here, we're chillin' in the tub
And thank God they're n***!
I'm Tommy
I'm Ethan
And I'm Jerome
Here's a one-way ticket
To the blonde boy zone!
[Verse 3: Jerome]
Howdy, I'm Jerome and I'm 37
I've been blessed with these sweet blonde boys from heaven
Uhh... Bought me and the boys some blonde hair dye
Now we get the ladies wet ;ike a slip n' slide
When I was their age I didn't have many friends
But these sweet moist boys keep me up on the trends
They like to call me "Dad," but I say no!
Can't they see who I am? I'm just another blonde bro

[Bridge: Ethan]
Sun-kissed hair like a can of soda exploded
And coated my head in golden, like molten lava flowin'
The blonde beauty is growin', LeBron's envy is showin'
Because his girlfriend's the one that I'm blowin'
Hair like bananas and we're hot as the sun
Sittin' in the tub, man, I'm hard as a gun
Girls like blonde hair and they like my dick
So I dyed my pubes blonde so I could get some dick
I mean suck my--
I mean get my dick sucked--

[Chorus: Ethan, Tommy, Jerome & All]
We're just blonde boys
Doin' what blonde boys do
I've got the complexion
Of an albino baboon
We're just blonde boys
Doin' what blonde boys do
To clarify earlier in the song
I didn't mean to say "Get dick"
I meant talkin' about a girl--
We're just blonde boys
Doin' what blonde boys do
I'm much older than the others
But I'm part of the crew
I'm Tommy
I'm Ethan
And I'm Jerome
Here's a one-way ticket
To the blonde boy zone!
[Verse 4: Tommy & Ethan]
As the hot one of the bunch, I tend to stay erect
If you're thinkin' 3 inches, then you're thinkin' correct
I have the thickest yogurt slinger of our bleach blonde dongs
Enough about your cob, man, get back to the song!
We're splishin', we're splashin', just frickin' around
We're the raddest, baddest blonde hunks in town
I'm like a muscular boy but I'm a bit more chub
But as long as I'm blonde, I'm still in the club

[Outro: Ethan, Tommy, Jerome & All]
Blonde boys rule the world
Blonde boys get the girls
Blonde boys call the shots
Ya know OJ was uhh, was innocent
Wait, what?
Blonde boys pay the bills
Blonde boys live the thrills
Blonde boys make the bank
You know, you guys, I agree
The glove didn't fit, there's no way he could have done it
Blonde boys rock the stage
Blonde boys love the Cage
Blonde boys love the tub
M-my dad said the Jews
Staged the moon landing?
Blonde boys lift the weights
Blonde boys go on dates
Blonde boys run the town

[Skit: Ethan, Tommy & Jerome]
Come on, boys. Let's uhh... let's get our prune on, down in the tub
Well, I was actually gonna ask about that
See, my dad's got ghost club in the woods tonight, so there's no sheets on my bed, and I was wondering if I could maybe stay with you?
Well, of course you can, Ethan!
Tommy, you wanna join?
*giggles*
Yes!