[Verse 1]
I'm the head of security at this establishment, sir
And what I say goes
And I’ll have you know, mate
That people with your disgusting haircut
Are not welcome on these premises
We have a responsibility here for our patrons
And we cannot risk their safety around vermin like you

[Chorus]
Keep the grubs out
Keep the grubs out
Keep the grubs out
Keep the grubs out

[Verse 2]
I'm the manager at this venue, sir, M-A-N-A-G-E-R
And I've worked my arse off to ensure
That my venue is the best venue in this small, pathetic town
And I certainly don’t need scum like you ruining that for me
We've recently changed our house policy, mate
It now states that anyone with a mullet
Is a thieving, violent, volatile thug
We have a responsibility for our patrons here
We don't want anyone to get hurt
[Chorus]
Keep the grubs out
Keep the grubs out
Keep the grubs out
Keep the grubs out

[Outro]
We appreciate your understanding, sir
Feel free to come back when you get a haircut