Andy Milonakis
Nick and T-Dog’s P-H-Fat Rap
[Nick]
When you're struggling
Living off ramen noodles
I'm in my Lexus
Finger bangin' poodles
You call me a busboy
I'll bust you three times
Slice you three times
Slice you three limes
And make you squeeze them on your own cuts
And, bitch, you best give thanks before you eat my nuts

[T-Dog]
Yeah, who's that motherfucker throwing pot in the brownies?
Bitches used to clown me
Now they surround me
My mom tries to ground me
And then I slap her
I'll fucking cap her
Don't she know I'm a rapper?

[Nick]
I don't care about love
Fuck amore
Fuck a dumb whore-ey all day
And then suck my dick all in it's glor-ey
Swallow my nut
This shit is gourmet
I'm horny
But you fucking sluts bore me
So fuck you, bitch, I'll fuck your mama
Than I'll kill your papa to top the drama
Then I'll rape a llama to top that drama
I'll eat that pussy like Jeffery Dahmer
[T-Dog}
I got a gat in my hand
A pound in my tighty-whities
A hit on my shit will make your eyes Chinese
My wallets are thick
And yours are thin, you dumb bitch
Even my cum's rich you fucking retard
I'll pull your fucking card you're ready
Willing and able
You call me fuckin' fake just because I bus tables
Fuck you
I'll fuck your navel
Real thugs pop guns
You steal cable

[Nick]
I got more bush than High Times
More rhymes than LeAnn
Pull out my Glock now you're peeing in your pants
It's your last chance
I'll cut your retinas
It's your last glance

[T-Dog]
Yo, bitch, you're fuckin' worthless
And if you backstab me
I'll show you what a herse is
You can't be fixed by 100 surgeons
I'll pull out my heater and boom, bye-bye
Even when you're dead
I'm busting nuts in your eye
[Nick]
Sin, sin, sin, I'll stick a dildo in
While I'm hiding in the Shenaniganz garbage bin
And with the other hand I'll doodle on some napkins
Fuck you with a loaf of bread and make you cheat on Atkins

[T-Dog & (Nick)]
I work at Shenaniganz
But blow me, 'cause I'm an OG
So get the fuck out my domepiece before I split yours
I used to have spit wars
And now I split whores in two
I am the walrus
Goo, goo, g'joob
(So back up, sonny)
We got mad honeys
(We make much money)
And don't you dare laugh 'cause the shit ain't funny
(Squeeze the trigger
Now your head's all bloody)
We got new rides
(Now we're flippin' switches)
No more dirty dishes
(I steal people's wishes)
And clock mad digits
(Pump on a blot and have sex with hot midgets)
I love when your cunt is balder than Bruce Willis
Nick and T-Dog, Motherfucker
We the illest
[Nick & (T-Dog)]
Peace out, bitch ass motherfuckers
(Get the fuck out my fucking face)