[Verse 1: Puff Puff Humbert]
It was the first day back to school
Cuttin' up in class
Actin' like a tool
Friends were rollin' in
We started talkin' about the summer
Deejay saw "Twilight"
Bummer!
I spoke up, and I asked my friends
"Are there any new girls? 9′s or 10′s?
Hoping a few hotties had moved from other cities
And in walked this girl with tig ol' bitties
I can't believe my eyes
In a contest, they'd win first prize
Double D, guarantee I was checking their size
It's like two beach balls in a shirt disguise
Or Earth and Mars having some fun
Wait, I take that back, it's like two of the sun!
But at this point I let my mind run
And drifted off thinking about them tig ol' bitties

[Hook]
(Tig ol' bitties) Mt. Fuji brought its twin
(Tig ol' bitties) Two melons in a shirt
(Tig ol' bitties) (Tig ol' bitties) I put books in my lap
(Tig ol' bitties) Head bobbing as she walks
(Tig ol' bitties) Oh my god!
Tig ol' bitties
Tig ol' bitties (Ek ek ek ek ek ek)
Tig ol' bitties (Ek ek ek ek ek ek)
Tig ol' bitties (Ek ek ek ek ek ek)
Tig ol' bitties
Tig ol' bitties (Ek ek ek ek ek ek)
Tig ol' bitties (Ek ek ek ek ek ek)
Tig ol' bitties (Ek ek ek ek ek ek)
Tig ol' bitties
Tig ol' bitties
[Verse 2: Puff Puff Humbert]
Kept trippin' in class
Because of er dang breasts in a tiny white shirt
Boobs having a fiesta
Later in lab, we were messin' with test tubes
Couldn't take my eyes off the new girl's chest
Boobs!
Wasn't paying attention
Got busted
Had to serve detention
In biology we talked about the bees
The best kind of bees
Boobies!
I can't believe my mind
I old a poker face to her two of a kind
With each step her breasts gettin' redefined
I'm making my move
I'm thinking it's time
Oh snap!
I'm gonna ask her to prom
And in my head she responds
"You're the bomb!"
Feeling nervous so I count to three
"I like your boobs."
"Go to prom with me?
[Hook]
(Tig ol' bitties) King Kong boobs
Tig ol' bitties (Great tracks of land)
Tig ol' bitties
(Tig ol' bitties) Like my balls
(Tig ol' bitties) Real big
(Tig ol' bitties) Oh my god!
Tig ol' bitties

[Electronic Beat]
Tig ol' bitties (Ek ek ek ek ek ek)
Tig ol' bitties (Ek ek ek ek ek ek)
Tig ol' bitties (Ek ek ek ek ek ek)
Tig ol' bitties
Tig ol' bitties (Ek ek ek ek ek ek)
Tig ol' bitties (Ek ek ek ek ek ek)
Tig ol' bitties (Ek ek ek ek ek ek)
Tig ol' bitties
Tig ol' bitties

[Verse 3: Puff Puff Humbert]
She said yes, so I'm getting ready
Stain on my shirt, Mom's spaghetti
I pick her up, and I'm pretty sure
That she'll let me motorboat like "Br-br-br-br-br"
I try to cop a feel once we get to school
She said, "no touching, that's the rule."
Principal walks up on the scene
"It's time to announce prom king and queen."
"Your Favorite Martian and Tig Ol' Bitties."
"Congratulations to you both on winning."
Time slowed down, and she jumped for joy
Then out of her dress jumped something more
Tissues flew and rained from the sky
Oh my god! You stuff your shirt?
Your Favorite Martian in a world of hurt
Aw!!!
Fake ol' bitties
Wow!
[Hook]
(Fake o' bitties!) You're breaking my heart with
(Fake o' bitties!) You're crushing my dreams with
Fake ol' bitties!
(Fake ol' bitties) I can't believe it!
(Fake ol' bitties) You really suck!
(Fake ol' bitties!) I can't believe you would do that
Fake ol' bitties!

[Outro: Puff Puff Humbert]
Why would you do that? Were you just trying to get everyone's attention?
Those aren't boobs! They're lies! Lies I tell you!
But you know I'm still down to make out if you, if you want to, want to come back with me
You know what, never mind
(Where them tig ol' bitties at?)