[Verse 1: Puff Puff]
Hey, Mr. Burns
You thought your money could buy you the world
I said hey there, Mr. Burns
I happen to notice that you don't have a girl (yo)
Smithers loves you, Burns. Why do you ignore him?
You gotta keep up the rapport like it's too important
Instead of running away, you should move in toward him
But you keep him at the border like the dude is foreign
We know you're straight, dude. I really hate to
Say there's no way anyone else would date you
Straight out the gay scene. How do you face him
Knowing he wants to be your Malibu Stacy?

[Chorus: Puff Puff]
All he ever wanted to do
Was spend a little time with you
Hey, Mr. Burns
Hey, Mr. Burns
You know you're worth more to him
Than all the money you spend
Hey, Mr. Burns
Hey, Mr. Burns

[Verse 2: Puff Puff]
Hey, Mr. Burns
I'm thinking maybe you should give him a chance
I said hey there, Mr. Burns
Yeah, so what if he's a man (yo)
We know you're blind, old man
But you can hear me talking
You're always home alone. You ain't Macaulay Culkin
You ain't a Flintstone. Pay no mind
To the fact that Smithers wants to have a gay old time
And while relationships have their twists and turns
You know he'll never leave you. Don't you, Mr. Burns
So you should give him a shot, and maybe help the guy
And you can make relations Santa's Little Helper style
[Chorus: Puff Puff]
All he ever wanted to do
Was spend a little time with you
Hey, Mr. Burns
Hey, Mr. Burns
You know you're worth more to him
Than all the money you spend
Hey, Mr. Burns
Hey, Mr. Burns

[Bridge: Puff Puff]
Doo doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo doo doo

[Chorus: Puff Puff]
All he ever wanted to do
Was spend a little time with you
Hey, Mr. Burns
Hey, Mr. Burns
You know you're worth more to him
Than all the money you spend
Hey, Mr. Burns
Hey, Mr. Burns

All he ever wanted to do
Was spend a little time with you
Hey, Mr. Burns
Hey, Mr. Burns
You know you're worth more to him
Than all the money you spend
Hey, Mr. Burns
Hey, Mr. Burns