[Intro: 2 Mello]
I got two human sacrifices in the whip
(Right)
I keep tellin' 'em, you don't need to strip
(Right)
Keep your windows rolled up and your seatbelts on you
(On you)
'Cuz we can't have you dying till you got spells upon you
Yeah, I found this book in a broke-ass graveyard!
And the parts that I can make out, oh, they go hard!
(Oh, shit)
All I had to do was wrench it out' some dead hands
(Woo)
I'm not a necromancer yet but hey, I got plans

[Verse 1: 2 Mello & 'Book']
If you want the power, gotta pay the debt
Do you really wanna walk along the razor's edge?
I will haunt you every second till you're laid to rest
Turn around right now, and you can save your neck
If you want the power, gotta pay the debt
Thеre are a million other gamеs you coulda played instead
Forget you ever found this, is your safest bet
Yeah, fuck that, just tell me how to raise the dead
Fine
[Verse 2: 2 Mello]
(And you get what you get, you get what you get)
(And you get what you get, you get what you get)
(And you get what you get, you get what you get)
(And you get what you get, you get what you get)
Ah, ha, ha, ha
Ah, ha, ha, ha
I'm gonna be invincible
All you motherfuckers who made fun of me at the rec center
For flinching when the little ball went in my Ramune soda
I'll see you next time
Ah, ha, ha, ha!

[Verse 3: 2 Mello & 'Narrator']
Yeah, I'm gonna be the best fuckin, uh...
Magic person that you ever heard of
King of this shit, just gotta read the book!
(One month later)
No audiobook, no podcast, no explainer video, there's nothing for this thing
I'm not a big reader, you know? I get lost
It's like they don't want people to learn black magic
Haven't y'all ever heard of accessibility, there's different types of learners, you know?

[Verse 3: 2 Mello]
I don't wanna be broke anymore
(No)
I don't wanna eat ramen
(Uh-uh)
I wanna get an army of zombies
Tell 'em all to rob and then we keep robbin'
(Yup)
I wanna be the most irresponsible necromancer in the Midwest
(That's me)
All I need to do is just figure out where to put the runes on my chest
I'll admit this ain't my best moment
Doin' a spell and I just guessed on it
(Woo)
I'll break the summoning circle
'Cuz I get my nervous sweat on it
Got mad demons I prank called
They satanically star 69'd me
(Oh no)
Goin to church so they can't find me
(Oh no)
Leavin no donuts for y'all behind me
(Oh no)
I'm in over my head, but it's still attached
Gotta find a helper with the wits and the will to cast
Got one Craigslist search result for 'witch', and yo, we called 'em up
Just wanna talk, I'm smooth as fuck, can't be the one who brought it up
Like, sprinkle it naturally into the conversation
(Yeah)
(Uhh, you noticed anything different around town related to your vocation?)
[Verse 4: TV-MA]
(Hello, you rang?)
Oh, this one is a mess
Sees the game in his head, not coming from his chest
Your lack'a strong will, weak intention heart
Make the heartbeat start, unwelcome, not up to par
The mortal, immortal, damned and the chosen
All agree on the ones we'd rather have frozen
Your expectation to bring back the strong quick and wit
Is about to get rocked so hard gonna wish you quit
Offer up bullshit, get bullshit in return
As every worst person known rises from they urns
Solicitors & tax collectors populate the earth
Cannot walk ten feet without getting asked if you're insured
Delusions that a zombie crew can do all your biddin'
While energy vampires surround where you're sittin'
Hold up, that's not all, glad you called now
Learn about the free gifts you've earned yo'self
Wealthy people with memes, telemarketers in your dreams
What you've done is your undoing, reality ripped apart at the seams
Nazis with bad breath, no personal space, the rotten spoiled
The individuals back enough for Satan herself to recoil
You wanna hustle? Get hustled in hustle hell
The hell you get to create, a charm from necromancy's spell
Witches work they magic, keep the inconsiderate at bay
Now the demons in your nightmares are gonna find out where you lay
You fuck with the underworld, try to turn it into profit
We'll hunt you down and make you wish that you were in a coffin
The word witch hunt was created for punks like you
Now even mortals & they mommas wanna turn you into stew
Life and death lose meaning when you got beef in every realm
Dead, alive, eternal, forever keep you overwhelmed
(Thanks for calling, buh-bye!)
[Outro: 2 Mello & 'Book']
Wait no, don't hang up, please
Oh shit, oh shit this was a bad idea!
(I told you)
Will you shut up, book? I don't need this right now!
I'll fuckin' use a red popsicle as a bookmark, I swear!
(Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha)
Oh, I gotta get on a church bus!
I gotta get on a religious bus going north!
Oh, I needa purify myself in Lake Minnetonka!
I got about five dollars!
Fuck!