[Farley Gordon]
What is happenin' to me?
Was it only weeks ago that I was carefree?
Life was simple, life was easy
Seein' Eve with Marco made me queasy
I never imagined that I would have feelings for her
They weren't all chaste, they weren't exactly all pure
Eve's my soulmate, isn't it ironic
Eve's my soulmate, I wish that it wasn't platonic

[Gump]
You were always the boy in the bubble
Reality gave, gave you trouble
So you've got some feelings for your best friend
Let her know
The world won't end

[Farley]
Please, Eve's like a sister to me
These feelings are creeping, creeping into impropriety

[Gump]
Last time I checked (I checked), you're not related (related)
Don't deny it (deny it) don't debate it (debate it)
Maybe the girl wants to get freaky with you, who knows
She wants to squeeze your bones
She wants to rub your nose
[Farley]
Boys, thanks for the female insights
But trust me, Eve doesn't wanna turn out the lights

[Gump]
It's time to man up with your woman and hockey fights
I swear that you'll start sleeping better at night

[Farley]
Speaking of sleep
I've got to go to bed

[Ensemble]
Honestly, Farley
Time to get your ass out of your head