[Intro]
A convicted killer has escaped from a max security prison today
Officers are warning people to stay in their homes and lock their doors
If you see this man, do not approach
He is extremely dangerous and on the loose-

[Chorus 1]
Don't adjust your waves, I speak with station host charm
So listen in the channel's free, baby, no charge
No more asking who killed the radio star
"What devilish appeal" they're saying, oh God!

[Verse 1]
Welcome all to the new premiere
These messages never fall on deaf ears
Persuade in Suede to impress the peers
Words tailor made, I'm the best addressed here
Testing testing
Profess your profanity, no sense in censoring
Digress to depravity, the dead descending
Remember, dear, that in every deal there's a debt collecting
Sta-sta-static cause a pa-pa-panic
Shit is fubar'd, do call a mecha-cha-chanic
I can jazz it up, do a little cha-cha magic
Bit of razzmatazz tap-t-tap like Chaplin
Fred Astaire of misfortune deeds
A debonair of debaucherous thieves
Such eccentric flare for a flaw ridden fiend
The electric chair was installed just for me
Mic check, sure feel like a new man
With a touch of death so cold like I got a blue hands
News flash, who is that suited schmoozer
Fluent elocution crooner cruising with the top
Brass like he blew a tuba (womp womp)
The American Dream didn't account for Krueger
Malevolent, mean, meddling mountain mover
This Hell's my Vegas, and I'm Howard Hughes, ah!
[Chorus 2]
Don't adjust your waves, I speak with station host charm
So listen in the channel's free, baby, no charge
No more asking who killed the radio star
"What devilish appeal" they're saying, oh God!
I'm walking on the air, I feel alive
So come delinquents, ne'er do wells and damn deprived
If you've been burned and left in the ash
Crank the volume and tune to your second chance

[Verse 2]
Apologies if it seems cheesy, these
Bars' illegal, I speak easy
Collared twin tails, been breezy
Keep collard green, I like meals meaty
Think he Bing Crosby, but he sings offkey
Signals spotty mate, get him off the stage
Who's that little thing? Foxy
Trotting round, gotta get her on my springs promptly
Oh so bored, overlord noticed calls
For hotel staff on the notice board
So perhaps if a damned soul shows remorse
Then the golden land holds an open door
It's laughable, impractical
Irrational fantasy set for failure
But what the Hell?
Tragedy needs a charismatic comic entertainer!
[Bridge]
A secret is hidden best
Behind a smile that's unsuspecting
But once I shed these bond's the bloodshed
Set upon them will be neverending

[Chorus 2]
Don't adjust your waves, I speak with station host charm
So listen in the channel's free, baby, no charge
No more asking who killed the radio star
"What devilish appeal" they're saying, oh God!
I'm walking on the air, I feel alive
So come delinquents, ne'er do wells and damn deprived
If you've been burned and left in the ash
Crank the volume and tune to your second chance

[Outro]
Woo, well, well, well
It appears in my absence, some of you have forgotten who really runs things around here
But not to worry
I'll make sure you all remember!