[Verse 1: Cupid (The Stupendium)]
Love is in the air! When I snipe a rabbit, tag and claim him
Captivate the little lad whose ransom lays in tax evasion, pass the paycheck
You're no match for the matchmaker 'cause I rhyme gold
Show you tough love if you're at the end of my bow
Your fun is over, you got a porky odor and dress funny
I stay sober, I don't need four-leaf clovers to get lucky
Who'd give you a chance? You're a stupid little man
Last prom, I saw you cry enough to do a river dance
What's up with the bunny? I thought you were known for multiplying
You're just a symbol that ended up leaving cults divided
Just play dead, I have to go run some errands
'Cause you shouldn't lay eggs, I might've fucked up your parents

[Verse 2: Leprechaun (Freeced)]
You caught me in my pregame, so let me work me magic
I'll down me Guinness and when there's a record, I will scratch it
I always got the gold and keep it cash in hand
Green in me pot, it's calor gas, I'll smoke 'em if they try taxing that
Forget your picket fence, marriages are in distress
Divorce rates are crazy! 50/50, Cupid shits the bed
While you're flying around, tryna fix the sobbing and mourning
I'm shouting "Another round!" until the top of the morning
Spent some time on Olympus and Venus gave her love to me
So tell your mom she'll have to catch me if she wants me to pay custody
And Thumper, as for you, I'll poof you like it's a magic show
My next batch of shoes will be going up the rabbit hole
If Jesus doesn't deal with you first, then Cross me Rifle
All because you're prey to everyone don't mean you're in the Bible
[Verse 3: Easter Bunny (LittleFlecks)]
Stick your hands up! Put it back in the basket!
Wait, that's not an Easter egg, the infant caca'd his nappy
Man, I don't need your gold but hand the 24 carrots
Or you're facing the wrath of the rabid rabbit that's rapping rapid
Hey, naked baby, stop playing with lives like they were dolls
Grabbing them and smacking them together by their genitals
I spread cheer and love without 'conquering' people
This toddler's too busy going "Free willy!" he forgot about free will (Oh!)
Lep's hair rose when the fair-coated hare roasted Eros
I can tear open the air holes in both their throats without arrows
I'm no Saint, but they give it up for the Easter Bunny, Lent free
For centuries, it's been rabbit season, at best, you're pity entries

[Verse 4: Cupid (The Stupendium)]
You took Easter's meaning and put too many eggs in one basket
I'll have this cad buried and melted down in his casket
Lep, I gotta patch up all the new wounds that you open
'Cause my shots make families, yours leave them broken

[Verse 5: Leprechaun (Freeced)]
Lad... you had to pick between your mom and your side piece
But I know just the thing to fix a poor broken psyche...
C'mon, let down your wings, have a pint and get it sunk
They say don't rhyme and drink, but I rap better when I'm drunk!
[Verse 6: Easter Bunny (LittleFlecks)]
Don't touch me, Leper! You ugly diseased spotty freak show
I'll sneak behind his rainbow and leave a pot of Aveeno
I got Trix up my sleeve, know you got no luck and you're charmless
Oh! Have you heard the one about the Irishman that walked into my bars yet?

[Verse 7: Cupid (The Stupendium)]
If you think I... dehuh... duawuhiever... dahuhuh... egehguhuva... ????????????

[Verse 8: Easter Bunny (LittleFlecks) & Leprechaun (Freeced)]
OOH! I got.. shot (Huh???)
What is this feeling? So lovey-dovey and funny...
I think somebody switched up my jelly beans for some gummies (What?)
I've got a fluttering tummy, I'm seeing double and hazy
I got four feet, but you're four foot, I love a short king, baby (Me?)
I want to wake up every day to your beautiful goblin mouth (No!)
I'll turn my burrow into the coziest Hobbit house (Get away from me!)
I see our seven bunny-dwarven children drinking Guinness
Lemme put a candy ring on one of your surviving fingers!