[Intro]
RAP BATTLE!
CHARLIE CHAPLIN
VS
MR. BEAN
BEGIN

[Verse 1: Charlie Chaplin]
Let me break the silence, if you couldn't already tell
It’s the only actor bigger than the industry itself
I'm a ladies man, whilst you're a baby man child
You’re the face of "stranger danger" with that rapey damn smile
You got a lady friend that you sure want to charm a lot
But you could never slot your mini in her parking spot
The last woman you hit on was the Queen
I'll kick you off-set, I'm experienced with flicking beans

[Verse 2: Mr. Bean]
(Eugh...) My name is... Bean... I made fifteen funny shorts in under five years...
...And I was more successful than your half a century-long career
Oh, dear! You're silent 'cause technology wouldn't let you speak yet
I didn't talk 'cause I didn’t need to
To have the whole world get me
I made my comedy speak for itself like Teddy
The Tramp struggled to keep a Lady; jeez!
Cranking through wedding rings like gears on a machine
The FBI would see you flee, ’cause you liked them early in the bed
Right, would it have hurt to have tried a turkey on your head instead?
Oh? It's still my rap? Well then, Chap, I must ask:
Why would you go through all that effort to make fun of Hitler and then look in the mirror at your get-up thinking "Uh, I’ll keep the mustache"
[Verse 3: Charlie Chaplin]
Was that film reel? 'Cause I see through your wrap
It's fitting a Bean's leaving nothing but hot gas
Pitiful, your comedy used to be universal
Now you’re only getting snickers when you sellout for commercials
Rockin' the comedy and drama- this prodigy's got both
Your style's like your Olympic cameo: one note
You're only slapstick, a walking disaster; tragic
The fact that you're somehow still alive? Magic
When I say action I turn secretaries to actresses
While everyone around you falls victim to Rowan's accident
With a YouTube channel, movies panned, and 'toons you're grasping fans
After 30 years they should've left this bean canned

[Verse 4: Mr. Bean]
You left your mark on the industry, no question
But your pictures gave me a great depression
You kept your family backstage, it's quite a shame
You put your Mum in a cell 'cause she had none in her brain
Treat every woman the same? Uhh... misogynism
They're not public pools, listen, stop putting your swimmers in 'em
This fight is like your career, 'cause as soon as they brought the mic in
And you started to speak, you took bigger dives than I did
Don't deny it, I can see why you're better off quiet
Petrified of sound 'cause your daddy left you in silence
[Outro]
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
THE NEXT RAP BATTLE IS ON THE WAY!