[Verse 1 - Walmart Employee]
Calling all Customers, a limited time offer
Watch Walmart get wrecked by all the rhymes I have to offer
I’m the hottest on the market, Check my-Self Out while I’m beating you
Goodnight, Mr. Walton. This is the only time I’m greeting you
Here’s a thought, stop changing your damn layout every couple days!
If the customers aren’t serviced, then you’ll drive them all away
Think you’re above the law? Well, suit up! I’ll throw up my Betty Dukes
I’ve got my “Target” acquirеd! No AEDs is gonna fuck you

[Verse 2 - Target Employee]
Open the Gates to my Cash Buffеt, because my business is Bloomin’
I could count on one hand how much your customers are consumin’
I was cha-chinging in China, while the Canucks left you wincing
You can’t hold a Canadian candle to the bucks that I’m bringing
#1 in saving, dropping rhymes and prices like bombs
Your stores only best at being the #1 place for soccer moms
The Walton name is priceless, you can’t compete with my prices
Hell, in two years I could solve and pay off the student debt crisis

[Verse 3 - Walmart Employee]
The Watchmen called, they want their logo back
Bullseye wouldn’t touch that shit if it was a bacon covered snack
Maybe my store has the Karens, but, my friend, you’ve got all the druggies
My prices are still low without having the waters muddied
[Verse 4 - Target Employee]
While you were checking your prices for your dogs first class seat
I ran up so much profit, they’re still middling in the east
I expected more, but I guess you only get what you paid for
I’ll finish your ass in a moment, there’s someone at the door

[Verse 5 - Amazon Employee]
I got a 2-day prime delivery for a couple of dying brands
I’m one click away from you two catching these magic hands
Target, let’s be real, you’re just Kmart 2.0
And all your 1800 stores are as boring as your priced down flow
You, Walmart, maybe open some fucking lines for a change
And stop hiring the elderly, maybe some money could be made
Here, I’ll recommend a book, its called “Learn How to Rhyme”
‘Cause unlike you fools I expect my deliveries to always be on time