[Verse 1: Saint Patrick]
Broke out the chains, now I'm holier than Rome is
You send those weans home before I phone me homie Moses
Promised them a Candyland but had them working back in Berlin
Said your purpose was to purge the rats, but who's the real vermin?
The town heard the piper and demanded he stop
They banned music cause you only play the shammiest rock
And now there ain't no drumming so they don't get reminded
But you'll face repercussions when you feck with the Irish

[Verse 2: The Pied Piper]
Chastity's the only vow that you respect, buddy
There's no four leafed clovers that could help you get lucky
I'll treat this like chess, you're the crappiest piece
Cuz when I cross a Bishop, then he will die agonally
Skip the sermon, between the pack of rats I travel with and sickly verses
I'm wreaking havoc on your town, they'll gather sticks for purging
Play magic bound to snatch up every kid who heard it
Hear me roast you with my flute like "Yo this witch is burning!"
Such a greedy priest, cxploited the mass's beliefs
Charged for baptisms, no wonder you're so attracted to green
You may have escaped prison but you can't trick the Saxons
Stop dangling your sack like Saint Nick and do your taxes!

[Verse 3: Saint Patrick]
I show kids the lord, you lure and enslave them
Guess I didn't vanquish every snake from the Mainland...
Strolled up looking like a peacock to the Hamelin crowd
Motherfucker had the blind kids ratting him out
Your Ratatouille bullshite was just a bloomin' rumor
Your piping's so shite, the rats would sooner choose the sewers!
Like me master's home, your story's been reduced to embers
Cuz you're the only Brothers Grimm tale no one remembers
[Verse 4: The Pied Piper]
You prayed every day to be cut loose from your sin's ways
And now your name's engraved as an excuse to get shitfaced
And this day is a disgrace to your promise
Cuz Saint Patrick bars turn fathers to alcoholics
You escaped slavery, rose to the top of the system
Then this dude said "Fuck it!, I'll just colonize the victims!"
Converted the Celtic culture and now you preach to the choir
So take your tithes, but this time, the church is playing the Piper