[Intro: Announcer (Rabi)]
RAP BATTLE
Don't Hug Me I’m Scared
VS
Doki Doki Literature Club
Begin

[Verse 1: Yellow Guy (RNG), Duck (GamingPlush64), Red Guy (Littleflecks)]
A trio of friends!
Pesky bees are what they are
Bunch of indie kiddies whose game flew right off the radar
I don't see anything creative from the group who struggled to troubleshoot
You’re left second to Project M
While we're taking the W!
These three are really boring
Right from their bleakish story
To when they see a boy, and then they change from sweet to gory
I'm not impressed we've seen your trope done a dozen times
If I were in your shoes, I would've pulled the plug, you bugging flies
You've bugging files
All of the glitches Monika’s clogging up
You look like our computer has a virus popping--
What happened to Red?
Well, it seems like he had to leave the show
Since it's clearly a play with how childish these girls are treated (Oooh!)
[Verse 2: Sayori (Azia), Yuri (Lindz), Natsuki (garbageGothic)]
I think these stuffed animals would look better back at my place
With performances so lifeless, they’d bring their beef to Mr. Cow
These puppets never got creative but still received high praise?
It’s like the algorithm pulled the strings inside their little house
It makes sense the poets would have better pen-game
While you were busy drowning in your inky hellscape
With all the sudden cuts to blood and guts and the Muppets turn gluttonous
And still your fans are waiting for the next page
They aren’t meant for music
They should stop trying to branch out
You should know that this club isn’t the right place to hang ouuuuu-

[Verse 3: Yellow Guy (RNG)]
I don’t think I can remember your name, but, hmm…
I think I saw my dad play your game once
You tried to get a love bug
But ended with your love bugged
When it started to plummet, you mixed tough love and bloodlust
Then your love cu-cu-cu-cu--
Crashed harder than your program
You say you’re a dating sim, but didn’t land with romance
Thrown off to the sidelines
Now known for staying hidden
She’s only know for her cupcakes
That’s called “bittersweet”
There’s bad things that can happen when you step in the club
So, I think it might be best if you just kept the door shut
[Verse 4: Natsuki (garbageGothic)]
(Jeez)
I didn’t ask for the two cents out of this puppet show
A million music numbers, but yet, you never struck a note
There’s nothing special about this lonely king
I’ll go take the crown
So, let me make like a character file and break it down
You came from the bogey etchings of Joe and Betty’s edgy scripts
Then, Roy made gory messes and phony lessons repetitive
The selfish prick went and left your friends for dead tried to end his kid
‘Til Red got fed up, took what remained of your show and shredded it (Ay!)
Can’t stack up to this poet
Go shut your mouth and lock it
‘Cause this puppet would be a better fit in the storage closet
So stuff a sock in it
Nobody’s listening to your sappy songs
Couldn’t win this in your dreams
So face your happy thoughts