[Intro]
Lame-Ass Rap Battles
Red vs. Mr. Crow
3, 2, 1, go


[Verse 1: Red, played by Freshy Kanal]
I thought the pigs' plot was enough to make me pissed off
But now I gotta fling hot disses straight off the slingshot
We stay protecting kids way before they freakin' hatch
Fitting that this little brat came from a baby's chicken scratch
You've got, like, 20 vids
There's no way you can catch up
I got raps up my sleeve
While your sleeve is just wrapped up
Your cartridge and daddy will stay old and gray, loner strayed
Flew the coop and never stayed
To raise his precious golden egg

[Verse 2: Mr. Crow, played by Commander Jacob]
I see you, Red, I'd tear apart your cardinal sins
But we can bond over the crow language it's clear your bars were in
Or maybe not
After your failures, I observed that
Your servers must've been cursed bad by the evil Sir Cat
Those absurd raps are calling me to stay and work at
A verse that'll take you down so we can't see these birds flap
I stack hits like blocks
Show you an L and tower you
Lemme just lay this down
If I gotta spell it out for you
While I respect protecting your nest
From turning into a bed and breakfast
Your tactics lack any sense of direction
While flinging heads into wreckage
You got rich from your title?
Your only golden shower nowadays
Is piss from your idol
[Bridge: Red]
Your word vomit couldn't even keep my chicks fed
He won't be home ever again after that shit's wrecked

[Verse 3: Red, Chuck, Bomb, The Blues]
We get the money like Hal; our green's comin' around
I'll put you down six crow's feet under the ground
I stay squaded up, yo Jay, Bomb, and Chuck
Let's show this winged black sheep why they can't flock with us (Ugh)
Speedy time, weakly swine
We can rhyme with an eagle's might
But maybe translating your eight hundred languages
Can come out with a decent rhyme
No teddy bear to cuddle with
You can't get your dad back
You weren't even worthy
To get stuffed in a bear's backpack
Get Butchered, no Adam
We're sick when we're splitted
Attacking and rapping
We're killer in triplets
When I'm spitting off the bill, no way you can get through to me
I'm knocking over all your builds and breaking down your Unity
Cuz me and my boys got the skill, destruction isn't new to me
So if you wanna talk to Nils, stop using your community
We'll die a martyr just to stop the piggies' punk shit
At least write to Marta before you run and jump ship
Fuck demon cats, development's your only hell now
The only flight you've taken is the staircase you fell down
Nothing your fans theorize
Will make Thea rise
And now Lorenz himself will eternally need to be revived
[Verse 4: Mr. Crow]
You dumb shits
Thrown at the wall to see what sticks
You lucky mother-cluckers should be glad you landed one hit
Both Rovio and Opus didn't know what they were asked for
I took it to the depths
You took it off the App Store
Wanna bring a squad in?
Face a murder of crows
To checkmate your flock of pawns
And submerge 'em with flows
I'll pop your whole arsenal
And I'll leave with three gold stars
Last nail in my coffin?
I'm breaking free with each crow bar
No one's wantin' all your cash-ins
All they wanted was to make you zip through blocks
You were launchin', now you're crashin'
Made some bubble games and that shit went "Pop"
Not talkin' PCs when I clip your head through a window
Your money-bag-headed developers ain't enough to scare this crow
It's no sweat ending these legless and armless balls
The least hard thing I've gone through is a concrete wall

[Outro: Mr. Crow, Announcer]
Your player's gone, too
Now that you're off phones
Two birds, one throne
I've finally gone home

(Who won? Who's next? I decide, but would still like your opinion)
(Thanks for watching, and stay tuned for the next...)
(Lame-Ass Rap Batt—)
*scream*