[v.1 - Ash Williams]
Alright, you primitive screwhead, here’s why you lived in a dude's shed
Got no true friends, no food, bread, and you’re too obsessed with huge breasts
Now you’re spoon fed in someone else’s home, you’re faker than the first chest you groped
When Ash is over you’ll be set in stone, I’m smashing skulls while you’re fetching bones
Those motors and your dumb brain sure make a loud enough sound
But once all your blood drains thеn your Power runs out
Can’t call up Makima’s hounds to get you out of the pound
Last nail in Aki’s coffin had him down from thе count
Your life was a pain to live from the age of six,, now you babysit all the crazy chicks
The love that you’re looking for ain’t in your pay rate
How ironic, you couldn’t bang Reze
So how’s that for an opening move? No slow start, got no motor to boot
I’m acoustic with my boomstick and this shit has a Kickback too

[v.2 Denji]
Bro, with that verse, you’ll get mauled fast
Does the dad joke devil offer contracts?
You already rapped first, but it should be trashed
Not even that deer head would cough out a laugh (Ha ha ha ha!)
Why don’t you get your cabin crew
'Cause you choked like a deadite just strangled you
But this is the last time your ass gets bruised
'Cause your show got canned like Campbell soup
Call me poor? You were practically funded on family budget
You should have that travel refunded!
What did the reviews say? Grade A, great lakes, and a satanic dungeon?
The most unoriginal horror location, did you book it with Jason?
I had to live the way I did, you rented that cabin by choice for vacation
Whole crew with me, Yakuza gets cut from the waist and gets split up
Your teamwork is trash, you’re the type of guy to say “Hmm, maybe we split up”
You ancient husk, one angel touch, bet you’d age and rust then change to dust
Well, I’m glad that you went insane because in a brawl, I only aim for nuts
[v.3 Ash Williams]
I wouldn’t talk about family budget, with how your daddy was husslin’
You ended up balls deep, selling your nads to the public
His debt pile got so high, I could climb out of the witch pit with it
When that prick did business, all that drinking turned him to a lifted spirit
I’ve been cooking in hell, don’t give Jesus the wheel
Your biggest achievement was eating a meal
I bet you watched all of my movies and thought “He just like me for real!”
I faced an army of darkness, they vanished
A single one left all your partners with psychological damage
Went from Division 4 to none in the bracket
This doggie is rabid, he’s Makima’s bitch, she makes him do what he fears most
Even after he kills all his friends, his body count is still zero
Maybe call her to loosen your collar, but she wants to leave you an empty heart
Ripped it out before the first date, you got rode less than Kobeni’s car
Couldn’t stunt the gun apocalypse, too busy tryna cop a tit
My bars are sicker than your vomit kiss, so you probably wanna swallow this

[v.4 Denji]
Wanna talk about getting groomed? Look at what your writers put out there
The plants outside your window only grow when they’re chasing a no-no square
Oh no, little Ash ain’t feeling so groovy
8th floor didn’t drag as much as your movies
My blade roars and it makes you a smoothie
It ain’t hard to cut you better than your blue screen
Put the beam to his head, now he’s shark bait, 6 feet in an unmarked grave
I’ve met evil, you went medieval, don’t talk to me about the Dark Age
Severing any hand of malevolent devils that several reverends, definitely never cleanse
So set on being meta on the set but it never lands
Your second attempt at it set a terrible precedent
You got swallowed up whole in this battle, there’s nothing that’s left to finish
But I didn’t have to devour you to make everybody forget you existed