[Intro: Red Guy, Cast Member 1, Cast Member 2, Cast Member 3]
{various chatter}
(Okay, quiet on set everyone! Cue rap battle intro.)
(Okay, got it.)
(Cut to... Truman title card. 3, 2, 1.)
(Truman title card!)
(Brilliant. Cut to Red Guy title card-)
(That's not my name.)
(Uh- Action!)

[Verse 1: Red Guy, ID card]
Who's this guy? The man with the odd face
I would really prefer for you to get lost mate
Oh, it's Carrey as the only character he ever plays
Wow, even my voice has better range
Put me on your boring channel and I'll score some interest
He was born an actor, spoiled brat; adored, and still he left
They pulled the plug because a life that's more secure, he did reject
To be the loser who got cancelled way before the internet
Maybe swap your batteries
It isn't just your set when the lights are out
Wow really, what a tragedy
How you were driven mad with your wife around
Anyway, as a dad I'm glad to see
We're all celebrating father's day right 'bout now
Oh wait, let's check your Dad's ID
"Hey, I think that he might've drowned" (oh)
[Verse 2: Truman Burbank, Censor]
Good morning! Oh, and in case I don't see ya
Then good-- that'd be greatly ideal
Can your Eldritch horror wait until tomorrow?
Not doing THAT is my favorite idea
Here's to hoping that you get a visit from a singing dental floss
Because those canines look more rabid than my neighbor's dog!
And I'm afraid you're wrong, my Dad is more alive
Than that dummy for a brother and that duck 'for the wiiiife'?
Ripping thru' you like a magazine
No sweet talk, I ain't a fax machine
Honey, I had the saddest dream
Where not-so little red riding rug tried on some tacky jeans
With your dark creepy theming you managed to reel in
An audience younger than even Sesame Street's is
So be more discreet when you're speaking about canceled TV, kid
Your first pilot was so egregious that it couldn't be brownlit
Uh? Here's something you can put in that pad
There's not a single creative in that colorful cast
The internet's done with the fad of you lousy fuckin' pastas
They cleared their heads of this browser Cookie Monster

[Verse 3: Red Guy, Yellow Guy, Duck, Disc Teacher]
Yo, here is how you too can rap
Here is how you rap; first of all, you rhyme
And you raise the roof, and you stay on beat
And you sub to the Freshy Kanal Patreon
This is how you rap! I did it!
That's not rapping. It is! No, it isn't
See? I tried to rap like this disc insisted
And now there's gifts everywhere and he's ruined Christmas
The roof didn't elevate; it didn't move or budge
Stop trying to raise it and give it up Like Truman's mum
Maybe you would like that musical advice
As the one human in your life who's not used to having lines
Ask that guy in the mirror to come here and help explain to ya
You're not stuck in Trumania, you're stuck in true MANIA!
Now I'm walking out; don't try to hold me hostage
Cause I'm the top dog He's Grolton, you're Hovris
[Verse 4: Truman Burbank, Crew Member 1, Crew Member 2, Crew Member 3]
We should probably do something; Truman seems keen to leave...
Eh, he's more likely to get to Clayhill than Fiji, please
Uh, hang on, change frequencies-
Seems they shut it off... like they did to your show when the Queen deceased!
Not sure if this is the right time or place debating this
I feel like a beast is watching as we're stuck here entertaining him
Nah, just kidding, if only someone were taping this
So you could see the look on the hands they ...puppet your faces with!
Is that the best you can do?
What did I expect from an exec in a suit?
I don't mean the Red Guy, nah, I mean a separate buffoon
I'm directly addressing this message to YOU

[Outro: Crew Member 1, Crew Member 2]
(Um... Sir, now what?)
(Ummmm keep it going, keep it going, cut to outro!)