[Verse 1: Wirt (Eric the Audible)]
The case of your missing plot is such a horrifying mystery
I was way less lost on a stormy night amidst the trees
They went to the Scott Cawthon school of writing, how they dawdle
‘Til their fans all find the storylines they didn’t mean
Of course! Why, I am Wirt, and I am short on time, as it would seem
I’ll score a nice victory from Coraline‘s mini-me
You’re forced to hide your hunger to then traumatize the kids you meet
Who’s really in the costume when you gnawed them like it’s trick-and-treat?
We’re not the same, I held a candle to Satan
You pickеd the cannibal baby-eating place to havе a vacation
While I navigate through labyrinths of forests and hilltops
All you do is run to the right and you’re still lost

[Verse 2: Six (Evava)]
Kill him, command the bell: he’s going straight to hell
Pilgrim, can’t survive without the natives’ help
Children, I devour them and leave a clean plate
Save room for two more, Six ain’t done ’til she ate
You think you’d last against the monsters that I’ve confronted?
You run from all the noises your mom makes with her new husband
If you wanna talk survival skills in water, then I’m flawless
I became captain, you became unconscious
That tape only made the bee side with Jase
They might press play, and jam to it outside your wake
Can’t find your way, you’d give Greg your burdens if it killed him
Neither of us grow up, we turn into bigger children
[Verse 3: Wirt & Greg (CKVoice)]
I braved the lantern, and she thinks her little light could phase me?
She ain’t scary! Might as well replace her with a giant baby
Irritated ‘cause you’ve never had a safe space to vent
Because it’s locked? No, Greg, because she ate all her friends (Oh!)
You masquerade like Adelaide, but you’re a cold-blooded killer
If it’s monsters you’re evading, maybe hold up a mirror
And Wirt wouldn’t taste good with molasses, so reconsider
Greg, it’s hopeless, please give up. See? That gnome is too bitter!
Here’s a rock fact: Uh, you’re lonely, cold, and lack feelings
Go hang out with kids your age- Wait, I don’t mean from the ceiling!
So join our quest! Greg, I’m trying to protect us
Let’s make like her parents, then, and play dead, so she forgets us

[Verse 4: Six & Mono (Tibbie)]
Is everyone alright? Because the gonk looks pretty rattled
I shattered some kids like glass and still haven’t seen one this fragile
They need to be hospitalized. Yeah! Or they’ll walk to the light!
Mono, go grab the hammer and bash their frog ‘til it dies
No, stop! Why would I- I feel a pit in my stomach
Why stop when you’ve only just hit the ground running? (AAAAAAAHHHHH!)
So run away, you can finally pay your dues
Shame you’re out of uncles to pretend to be related to!
Wirt’s whole life flashes before his eyes when I kill him
What’s your highlight reel, except getting kicked out of every village?
I’m appearing ever nearer, put fear into you and Greg too
You’ve been mirroring your series: you’re quick and easy to get through
So weep alone in your bedroom, I’ll leave my roasting to simmer
And turn this Halloween drama queen into Thanksgiving dinner