Marc Shaiman
Turning Turtle
[ANNABEL]
Turning turtle? What exactly does that mean?

[TOPSY]
It means my whole world goes flippity-flop like a turtle on its back. And I don't know my up from my down, my east from my west, my topsy from my bottomsy!

If you ring with something broken on a Thursday
I'll make new, with my glue, pins and thread
What you bring -- when I've awoken -- on a Friday
I will mend and then spend the day in bed
Children, Satur, Sun and Mondays are just everything is fun days
But in the second week, I wear a frown
For, I know that after Tuesday comes the Topsy get's bad news day
It's the dreaded second Wednesday
When from 9 to noon, my life turns upside down

Fast is slow, low is high, stop is go and that is why
Every second Wednesday is a hurdle
From 8 to 9, all is well
Then I roll over on my shell
And all because the world is turning turtle

Day is night, dog is cat, black is white, thin is fat
That is why I'm loosening up my girdle
I cannot help this charming troop
Don't mock me, 'cause I'm in the soup
And why? Because the world is turning turtle
Oh, woe is me, I'm as opposite as I can be
I long for Thursdays when the world is drab
When will it cease? Now my life resembles War and Peace
That Tolstoy certainly had the gift of gab, I couldn't get through it!

Bottom's top, yin is yang, peace and quiet's Sturm und Drang
Tuesday nights, my blood begins to curdle
East is west, in is out, and that is why I need to shout
"Oh no!" The world is turning turtle

Oh, if you had come some other morn'
You wouldn't have found me so forlorn
But, since the day that I was born
Second Wednesdays is on the fritz
I couldn't mend this to save my soul
If this keeps up, I'll dig a hole
You say life's a cherry bowl
But Wednesday's full of pits

[JACK]
Tell us, can you fix this drum?

[TOPSY]
Well, today it's looking glum

[JOHN]
Can you mend this crack?
[ANNABEL]
And broken string?

[TOPSY]
Perhaps, if you all lend a hand

[JACK and CHILDREN]
Our fingers are at your command

[MARY POPPINS]
A broken songbird still can sing

[TOPSY]
Let's do the turtle swing!

[instrumental]

[TOPSY]
Oh, woe is me
Now I'm on my head!
How can that be?

[MARY POPPINS]
Well you say woe, but I say lucky you

[TOPSY]
Lucky me?
[MARY POPPINS]
Yes. Here on your head, "A" is far behind and led by Zed
It's good to get a different point of view

You see, when the world turns upside down, the best thing is turn right along with it

[TOPSY]
I do see! From down here, things look right side up, hahaha!

[JACK]
I wouldn't mind seeing things from that angle

[JOHN]
Sounds like fun

[ANNABEL]
Can we?

[MARY POPPINS]
Very well. Flippity flop

[ANNABEL]
Near is

[JOHN]
Far is

[JACK]
Here is

[GEORGIE]
There!

[MARY POPPINS]
Turtles turning everywhere!

[TOPSY]
Things are getting clear

[MARY POPPINS]
Well, knock on wood, my dear!
When you change the view from where you stood
The things you view will change for good

[TOPSY]
I never thought of things that way

[MARY POPPINS]
She never thought of things that way

[TOPSY]
Now Wednesdays are my favorite day

[JACK and CHILDREN]
Now Wednesdays are her favorite day

[TOPSY]
'Cause that's the day I'm quite contrary
And now, thanks to cousin Mary
I have changed- to be exact
I love the fact

[ALL]
The world is turning turtle, turtle, turtle!