Welcome aboard. Glamazonian airways
Hello everybody! Good evening! Welcome aboard I'm miss valerie valentine
I'm your economy slash coach stewardess or you could call me a flight attendant

But I don't care for that word "attendant" cause it makes me sound like a waiter or somebody -- I'm not

I appreciate your attention at this time. We should be taking off shortly. I would expect all kind of madness and turbulence to ensue
Please fully recline your chairs, turn on the massage function, and get ready to be happy, hunny

Welcomee aboard, glamazonian airways, the queens of the sky

There are 8, 000 people on board!

Now listen up
Looking for an exit
I'll make it clear
There are two in the front and one in the rear

You don't give a *beep* unless you a frequent flyer
Smoking ain't allowed unless your pussy on fire
Ohhhh we keep our wigs in the overhead bins (we do)

Oh, so none of your *beep* is gonna fit in. (sorry bout it)
If you drink enough alcohol you can fly anywhere, and you don't need a plane

There's a seat belt, seat belt in each of your seats
It's there to make you skinny
It's gonna be pulled real tight, real tight, real tight, real tight
Tighter, tighter, tighter, tighter, tighter, tighter...
Now really that is far too tight. How do you expect anyone to breathe?

When the oxygen mask drop down
Soaring through clouds and everyone feels it.
Sucking it in and out getting so high
We can't believe it

All your troubles they'll still be
Simply come imagination
Take my hands and fly with me
On a transworld transportation

There's a man on the window of the plane
It's a woman!
It's a man!
It's a woman!
It's a man!

I believe they call them "drag queens"