[Verse 1]
If you think I’m ugly as can be, I’ll stick toothpicks in your eyes
Now you won’t have to see
If you want me to go away, I’ll leave, and reappear in your dreams
Stifling mumbled screams

They'll call this rambling
I call it afternoon tea
I want to televise my meltdown
For you to see how bad a tantrum could be
Sometimes I look at God's green land
With temperatures at 75 degrees
The only thing that'd make this more peaceful
Is my body hanging from a tree

[Verse 2]
If my existence makes you sick, I’ll gladly help you upchuck
Clock you in the fuckin’ gut
If my music isn’t soothing to your ears
I’ll give you something else to hear
A countdown for your death is near, oh

They'll call this rambling
I call it afternoon tea
I want to televise my meltdown
For you to see how bad a tantrum could be
Sometimes I look at God's green land
With temperatures at 75 degrees
The only thing that'd make this more peaceful
Is my body hanging from a tree
[Verse 3]
I’ve turned the audience against me
I killed the star to steal the spotlight
I’m here to replace and enhance, your daily entertainment
With something a therapist would see me for
Could they handle stories about blood and gore
If you tell me to cut my hair, I will
Make you eat it

[Outro]
Everyone loves you, it doesn’t matter what day it is
You make the world smile with your happiness
Everyone loves you, wishing positivity
You turn the rain into sunshine, what we all need