[Intro: Various Newscasters]
"Now, it was designed to be a fun way of sending your friends images"
"Innocently enough, just about video games"
"Connect people from around the world"
"He was robbed while trying to meet up with a woman he met online"
"What makes the app so concerning for parents?"

[Verse 1: Wilbur Soot]
Well, it's 2:45 pm
Wake up from snoring, open DMs
Can of Red Bull by the bed
Vape is charged and Snapchat's read
What's popping?
What's popping?

[Verse 2: Wilbur Soot]
She's beauty, she's grace
She has a profile picture of an anime girl's face
Just a singlе message more
Sеnds her rubbing up my ethernet cord

[Pre-Chorus: Wilbur Soot]
I wanna be the guy
That you fall asleep on call with
I'll make you forget
Every guy that came before me
'Cause I like you
And you like my attention
Let's skip to the good bit
Let's consummate our internet connection
[Chorus: Wilbur Soot, Chevy]
I'm in love with an (Mmm)
I'm in love with an (Mmm)
I'm in love with an (Mmm)
With an e-girl
I'm in love with an (Mmm)
I'm in love with an (Mmm)
I'm in love with an (Mmm)
With an e-girl (Mmm)

[Verse 3: Wilbur Soot]
Mum took away my PS4
So I punched a hole through my bedroom wall
I'm not aggressive
I just ooze masculine passion
And did you know I've also got depression?
Self-diagnosed, thought I should mention
I thought you could be the one to fix me

[Pre-Chorus: Chevy]
I wanna be the girl
That you fall asleep on call with
Meanwhile, I'll
Find other people to talk with
'Cause you like me
And I think you're a maniac
Let's skip to the good bit
Let's completely block all contact
[Chorus: Wilbur Soot & Chevy]
I'm in love with an
I'm in love with an
I'm in love with an
With an e-girl
I'm in love with an
I'm in love with an
I'm in love with an
With an e-girl

[Monologue: Wilbur Soot, Wilbur Soot & Chevy]
Mum took away my PS4 (I'm in love with an, I'm in love with an)
I've said it so many times before (I'm in love with an, with an e-girl)
How can I live on if I keep on collecting? (I'm in love with an, I'm in love with an)
(I'm in love with an, with an e-girl)
These every little slights and insurrections (I'm in love with an, I'm in love with an)
Constant pain in every dimension (I'm in love with an, with an e-girl)
My body weeps (I'm in love with an, I'm in love with an)
Disbelief heads suspension (I'm in love with an, with an e-girl)

[Outro: Wilbur Soot]
I wanna be the guy
That you find stalking your affections
Your social media scoured
You seek police intervention
'Cause I base my
Ideals on obsessive media
Maybe, if I act like them
You'll respond to my DMs
*Dial-up & FAX machine sounds*