I flopped down in my easy chair and turned on channel 2
A bad gunslinger called Salty Sam was a-chasin' poor sweet Sue
He trapped her in the old sawmill and said with an evil laugh
"If you don't give me the deed to your ranch, I'll saw you all in half"

And then he grabbed her (And then?)
He tied her up (And then?)
He turned on the buzz saw (And then? And then?)

Ack-ack
And then along came Jones
Tall, thin Jones
Slow-walkin' Jones
Slow-talkin' Jones
Along came lonely, lanky Jones

Commercial came on, so I got up to get myself a snack
You should've seen what was going on by the time that I got back
Down in the old abandoned mine, sweet Sue was a-havin' fits
That villain said, "Give me the deed to your ranch or I'll blow you all to bits"

And then he grabbed her (And then?)
He tied her up (And then?)
He lit the fuse to the dynamite (And then? And then?)

Ack-ack
And then along came Jones
Tall, thin Jones
Slow-walkin' Jones
Slow-talkin' Jones
Along came lonely, lanky Jones
I got so bugged, I turned it off and turned on another show
But there was the same old shoot-'em-up and the same old rodeo
Salty Sam was a-tryin' to stuff Sweet Sue in a burlap sack
He said, "If you don't give me the deed to your ranch, I'm gonna throw you on the railroad track"

And then he grabbed her (And then?)
He tied her up (And then?)
He threw her on the railroad track (And then?)
A train started coming (And then? And then?)

Ack-ack
And then along came Jones
Tall, thin Jones
Slow-walkin' Jones
Slow-talkin' Jones
Along came lonely, lanky Jones
Along came lonely, lanky Jones