[RUM TUM TUGGER, spoken]
You ought to ask Mr. Mistoffelees, the original Conjuring Cat

(sung)
The greatest magicians have something to learn
From Mr. Mistoffelees' Conjuring Turn!
And we all say
Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever?
A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees

He is quiet, he is small, he is black
From the ears to the tip of his tail (Ooo-ooo)
He can creep through the tiniest crack
He can walk on the narrowest rail (Ooo-ooo)
He can pick any card from the pack
He is equally cunning with dice
He is always deceiving you into believing
That he's only hunting for mice

He can play any trick with a cork
Or a spoon and a bit of fish paste
And if you look for a knife or a fork
And you think it is merely misplaced
You have seen it one moment and then it is gone
You'll find it next week lying out on the lawn!
And we all say...
[COMPANY]
Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever?
A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees
Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever?
A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees

Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever?
A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees
Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever?
A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees

[MR. MISTOFFELEES]
My manner is vague and aloof
You would think there was nobody shyer
But my voice has been heard on the roof
When I was curled up by the fire
And I've sometimes been heard by the fire
When I was about on the roof
At least they all heard that somebody purred
Which is incontestable proof
Of my singular magical powers
And I've known the family to call
Me in from the garden for hours
When I was asleep in the hall

[RUM TUM TUGGER]
And not long ago this phenomenal cat
Produced seven kittens right out of a hat!
And we all say...
Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever?
A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees
[COMPANY]
Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever?
A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees

[RUM TUM TUGGER]
And not long ago this phenomenal cat
Produced seven kittens right out of a hat!
And we all say...
Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever?
A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees

[COMPANY]
Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever?
A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees

Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever?
A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees

Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever?
A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees

Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever?
A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees

Oh! Well, I never! Was there ever?
A cat so clever as Magical Mr. Mistoffelees
[RUM TUM TUGGER]
Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the Magical Mr. Mistoffelees!