[Intro: Kool A.D.]
Red red wine (oh-oh, yeah)
Stay close to me, my love
Red, red, wine, wine (Don’t let me be, my love)
Stay close to me, my love

[Verse 1: Kool A.D.]
Red wine, Jumpman Sandals
HBO Fight Night, everybody pitch like ten bucks
FedEx held at the airport
Pills clean the weed out the bloodstream, wild hallucinations
Cheeseburger and shake at Nation’s (french fries)
At the witching hour
White van covered in hippy flowers
[?] paisley
Cut the fuckery and fakery
Someone explain the plot Of The Wire to me, basically
Oh plus, fuck HIV (for real)
Whoever thought that up, was a real hater, B (fuck them)
Yo, y’all think y’all Swift
But you couldn’t Taylor me my, chain be tailored by the Taylor Gang
From repurposed plane parts
Plus a black cat
Bone snaps from smiley Dane Cook at his last book
Signing, it was whack and boring
Who casted Black Snake Moan?
It was mad boring too
But remember thinking Christina Ricci was cool (she is)
Wednesday Addams gave me chubbies in middle school (hot)
I digress
Sometimes I try to be hard
Sometimes I try to be hard-pressed (what does that mean?)
Sometimes I try hard, sometimes I try less (okay)
Sometimes I slide through the sky blessed (whoo)
I don’t sleep very much, but why rest?
[Hook: Kool A.D.]
Red, red wine
Stay close to me, my love
Don’t let me be with myself
Red, red wine

[Verse 2: Open Mike Eagle]
(That shit gives me the worst hangovers ever in life...)
I sing in the hallways like UB40
My kid wants to watch videos of DOOM performing
I prefer text cause phone calls are too absorbing
I’m separating nice-looking gals into cute-a-gories
Yeah, in an invisible database, I break my jealous heart into individual hate grenades
Toss ‘em, I’m making a paper maché coffin
I’m really into six so I practice saying “Hey, blossom”
If there was a zombie apocalypse
I’d make slaves rebuild the Columbia rocketship
You’ll climb aboard but stand guard by the door
And make the people fight each other ‘til there’s a final four
They say heavy hangs the Crown in my driveway
My Chevy bangs the ground either way, my neck's kinda sore
Yeah, I'm butt naked under a velvet
And Lady Ls melt with each shake of the pelvis
I should probably revisit the Melvins
And check out the Screaming Trees' whole LP
I'm waiting for the Bears to draft a real O-L-T
So help me, genuine, L-O-L-Z
[Sample of people talking about wine tasting]