[Intro: Lou Reed]
This is a song about the sorrows of the contemporary world, which I know we all know so well... at least I read about it all the time. It's like, one day - this was when I was in college, right? - and I woke up 6:30 in the morning (cause I get up early) and I put on the radio and they said, you know, so-and-so truck driver today ran over his baby son's head and it burst like a watermelon... and then they said it's twenty-two degrees out... so I figured, on all levels, there was no reason ever to go out again
I stayed indoor- I stayed indoors for about eight months... yeah hah. Also- also passed with honors in Kierkegaard, that's 'cause I understand the change in our existential leap. Anyone who lies in bed at 6:30 in the morning listening to that has to. Anyway, after that, communism was the only answer for me - I thought. And if you can't be a communist and make money, then you have to be a rock 'n' roll singer... at least in Hoboken
So anyway, this is a song called "I Can't Stand It Anymore"

One, two, three...

[Verse 1]
I hate standin' around
Livin' in a garbage pail
My old lady called me up
She tryna hit me with a mop

[Chorus]
I can't stand it anymore, more
I can't stand it anymore, more
I can't stand it anymore, more
But if Shelly would just come back, it'd be alright
If Shelly would just come back, it'd be alright

[Verse 2]
I live with thirteen dead cats
A purple dog that wears spats
They're all out living out in the hall!
And I can't stand it anymore...
[Chorus]
I can't stand it anymore, more
I can't stand it anymore, more
I can't stand it anymore, more
But if Shelly would just come back, it'd be alright
If Shelly would just come back, it'd be alright

[Guitar solo]

[Verse 3]
It's hard bein' a man
Livin' in a garbage pail
My landlady called me up
And tried to hit me with a mop

[Chorus]
I can't stand it anymore, more
I can't stand it anymore, more
I can't stand it anymore, more
But if Shelly would just come back, it'd be alright
If Shelly would just come back, it'd be alright

[Outro]
Be alright (Alright)
Be alright (Alright)
Be alright...
Be alright!
Be alright!
Be alright!
Be alright!
Be alright...
Be aaalright!
Be alright
Alright
Alright!
Yeah alright (alright)
[Applause]
Thank you