Sister Bridget by the stair: a glass of wine and she's almost there
Cousin Jimmy at the door: another beer and he's on the floor
Friends and neighbours come around
Waste no time we're heaven-bound
But not before we raise a glass to good camaraderie

Stinky Joe from down the street fell right over his own three feet
He's doubled up in the outside loo, to taste again the devil's brew
Friends and neighbours come around
Waste no time we're heaven-bound
But not before we raise a glass to good camaraderie

So make yourselves jolly under mistletoe, holly and ivy
Get to it – and be in good cheer
And when it's all over: pigs gone to clover –
Will the last man at the party wish me a happy New Year

The house is jumping, suppers up. Curried goat in a paper cup
Forks of plastic, knives of tin: who cares what state the goat is in
Someone with the gift of song
Has brought his pal to sing along
Now they're turning up old Frank Sinatra on the stereo

So make yourselves jolly under mistletoe, holly and ivy
Get to it – and be in good cheer
And when it's all over: pigs gone to clover –
Will the last man at the party wish me a happy New Year
Sister Bridget by the stair: a glass of wine and she's almost there
Cousin Jimmy at the door: another beer and he's on the floor
Friends and neighbours come around
Waste no time we're heaven-bound
But not before we raise a glass to good camaraderie

So make yourselves jolly under mistletoe, holly and ivy
Get to it – and be in good cheer
And when it's all over: pigs gone to clover –
Will the last man at the party wish me a happy New Year
(x2)