[Verse 1]
Toupee or not toupee
That is the question
It refused to stay as it all turned grey
William Shakespeare's receding hair
Please excuse the pun
'It's hair today, gone tomorrow'
So I'll be thankful
For what precious locks you have

[Verse 2]
Toupee or not toupee
That is the question
And by the way I just got to say
Thank the Lord I'm not going bald
And if I may quip
My curls and I
Are just like heaven
'Cause rest assured
There'll be no parting there
But should my head get bare like Friar Tuck
(Hard cheese to swallow)
It makes me smile
'Cause I know just what I'd do

[Verse 3]
Yeah, if I had more wigs than I knew what to do with
I'd open a second hand store
And if you ever went bald
You'd recall it
'Cause I'd cleverly call it
"Rugs From Me To You"