Now here's a little story all about how
My life got flipped turned upside down
It was a Saturday and I was walking round town
The sky was black and blue as the rain fell down
I was bored, there was nothing to do
Not a beurre to gape at, not a bag of glue
So I sat down, picked up a couple of screws
And I flicked em at a car and then looked at my shoes
They were dirty, it said about 2: 30
On my watch and there's lots of spots on my crotch
So I look across the road, and what do I see?
It's Willie O'Dea, he's walking over to me!
Man, Willie O'Dea, what can you do for me?
Are you going to give me hash? Are you the minister for gee?
Ahh man, I think he's going to talk to me
Well I am pure bored, I think I'll listen and see

"My name is Willie O'Dea
And you're in my constituency"

Mr. O'Dea, man you are embarrassing me
Cause you're singing at me in the street and I'm trying to kick it like a G
Fuck off, just fuck off and let me be
Cause I've never even voted for no one or nothing you see

"I know your father"
My father's dead

"I knew your father
And I can change your life"

How?

"I need your vote"

No, tell me how

"Give me your vote"

Fuck off

"And I can change your life"

Willie, how you going to change my life?
The fuck you know about my troubles and my struggles and strife?
I couldn't give a shit if you're the body of Christ
Man I want to go home, my socks are soggy and moist

"Hold on a minute, I can get you new socks
Give me the money and I'll get you new jocks
Poor old Willie, Willie oh me
If they put me in the dock I'll never be free"
What do you mean, Willie, what have you done?
Are you in trouble? Tell me Willie, what's wrong?

"My name is Willie O'Dea
They're hanging me for perjury"

Willie man, what can I do?
That's a terrible fate that's been handed to you!
Is there any hope? Should I consult the Pope?
Maybe he can keep you from the hangman's rope

"Man I haven't got a job, I haven't got a bob
I'm merely drawing the dole and pulling my knob
Only you can set me free
So buy this lump of hash off me"

What Willie, you're selling hash?

"Yeaaaaaaaah
It's daecent hash, it's daecent hash, I swear on my tash it's daecent hash
It's daecent hash, it's daecent hash, I swear on my tash it's daecent hash"

Mr. O'Dea, I'd love some hash
But I'm flat broke too, I got no cash
I got super glue and a bollock rash
And don't be flaunting your fancy knacker tash
Get out of my face with your snakey eyes
Your pants is in flames with all of your lies
You're wasting your time selling smelly sock
To a man who can't afford to take a piss in a pot
"I'll give you free hash if you do me a favor"

What, really yeah?

"Yeah"

Alright so go on, what you want me to do?

"Go up to Dublin and throw eggs at the Dáil
It's all their fault
They caused the recession too"

Wait wait, so alright, so if I go up to Dublin and throw eggs at Dáil Éireann, you'll give me free hash?

"I promise"

Really? Alright

"Stall the ball
Pope John Paul
Let's all go and egg the Dáil"