I done a backflip in my car
As I undid your mother's bra
Her boobies flopped around the place
And hit me in the fucking face

I did a massive bag of speed
With an aborigine
We broke into a local zoo
And let a Gila monster loose

Skinny dipping after dark
I put a saddle on a shark
I rode it all the way to Greece
And ate the country piece by piece

Liar, liar, Danny Dyer, get him in a headlock
Liar, liar, Danny Dyer, get him in a headlock
Liar, liar, Danny Dyer, get him in a headlock
Who's the big man now?

Sick of working down at spa
So I got a job as Dracula
I bit a woman on the knee
And gave her hepatitis C

I filled the kettle up with piss
And let it boil until it hissed
I built myself a time machine
And made the younger me drink wee
And if someone fucks with me I'll let them loose into their head
Ladies open up your fanny, make some room for fucking Danny!

Liar, liar, Danny Dyer, get him in a headlock
Liar, liar, Danny Dyer, get him in a headlock
Liar, liar, Danny Dyer, get him in a headlock
Who's the big man now?

That warm space between your grandmother's tits
That's where Danny Dyer's gonna build his house