[Verse 1]
Dashing through these hoes
Cadillac's and sixty 'fo's
On three wheels we go
Clocking lots of dough
Cellphone ringtone ring
My song "Because I Got High"
Smoking weed while I watch the police flying by

[Chorus 1]
Oh, jingle bell, East Palmdale Jobe is back and not whack
Ooh, found your daughter and you finally caught her
And you mad 'cause I'm black
Ahaha I fucked her good, just like I should, I think I blew her balloon
I didn't use a condom and now we have a problem
She havin' my baby in June (Say what?)

[Verse 2]
I know this holiday hooker
I think her name is Jan
And if you 'ain't got no money (Hell yeah)
She's got a layaway plan
I got a blowjob from her friend
I think her name is Gwen
My dick plugged up her mouth
She couldn't get no oxygen
[Chorus 2]
Oh, jingle bell, county jail, Jobe's from the hood
Skinny women suck my dick real good but their butt cheeks feel like wood (Ouch)
I be swimmin', in big fat women, when I'm in the sack (Ooh)
Why have a skinny little bicycle bitch when I can ride a cadillac?

[Verse 3]
I met this beautiful woman, she said she was Hawaiian
She said she didn't like black guys, however she was lyin'
She'd seen my go detonas, all my coupes and cash
She licked my hairy balls, like chocolate coconuts

[Chorus 3]
Oh, jingle bell, shotgun shell, sheriff got a gun
He pulled the trigger, shot that n***a look at that motherfucker run
Hit 'em in the head, kicked him in the ass, put a kneecap in his chest
Went to the court, and told the judge;
"This man was resisting arrest"