Afroman
12 J’s of X-Mas
On the first day of Christmas, the police sent to me, a S.W.A.T team in a pear tree

On the second day of Christmas, the police sent to me, two black eyes, and a S.W.A.T team in a pear tree

On the third day of Christmas, the police sent to me, three bench warrants, two black eyes, and a S.W.A.T team in a pear tree

On the fourth day of Christmas, the police sent to me, four cops calling all cars, three bench warrants, two black eyes, and a S.W.A.T team in a pear tree

On the fifth day of Christmas, the police sent to me, FIVE YEARS IN THE PEN! Four cops calling all cars, three bench warrants, two black eyes, and a S.W.A.T team in a pear tree

On the sixth day of Christmas, the police sent to me, six cops pepper spraying, FIVE YEARS IN THE PEN! Four cops calling all cars, three bench warrants, two black eyes, and a S.W.A.T team in a pear tree

On the seventh day of Christmas, the police sent to me, six Navy SEALs swimming, six pep-pep(messes up and bursts into laughter, "I guess they stop pepper spraying"), FIVE YEARS IN THE PEN! Four cops calling all cars, three bench warrants, two black eyes, and a S.W.A.T team in a pear tree(people in background improvising pepper spray sounds and cackling)

On the eighth day of Christmas, the police sent to me, eight lawyers lying, seven Navy SEALs swimmin, six cops pepper sprayin, FIVE YEARS IN THE PEN! (rhythm falling apart, "fuck it!") Four cops calling all cars, three bench warrants, two black eyes, and a S.W.A.T team in a pear tree

On the ninth day of Christmas, the police sent to me, nine ladies dancing, eight lawyers lying..sssev...(rhythm completely gone out the window, "yo Jody, slow your ass down! Shit! Slow down!"), four cops calling all cars, three bench warrants, two black eyes, and a S.W.A.T team in a pear tree ("yeah, I got your 12 days of Christmas!")(completely skips days)

On the twelfth day of Christmas, the police sent to me, (mumbling) twelve days in the county jail, man fuck the 12 Days of Christmas, we gotta come up with some other Christmas songs!