You say
You're chopping the ponytail off and you're trotting away
We'll cry
'Cause the tickets that cost us two grand are for after July
Look at us all
Remember the times that we stood here like rats in the rain
Waiting to sniff your balls
Remember that in Hollywood they chewed up Nathan Lane

You'll be back, sad but true
No one asked for Mary Poppins 2
You'll return to this place
Wearing an Elmo suit to hide your face
Fortunes rise, fortunes sink
You'll discover that your poop does stink
But when they're done with you
You'll be hosting some bad hip-hop gameshow Thursdays on MTV2

Da da da dat da dat da da da da ya da
Da da dat dat da ya da!
Da da da dat da dat da da da da ya da
Da da dat dat da…

You plan on becoming a Puerto Rican movie star
You'll end up living with John Leguizamo in his abuela's car
And no, don't bring up your Tonys
We all know you won those Tonys
What gives you the freakin' cojones
To appear thirty times on the Tony's
Get over, and over, and over, and over, and over
You'll be back, in those Spanx
When your film inevitably tanks
You'll crawl back, mark my words
No one loves you like these theatre nerds
For God's sake, don't leave this block
These people deserve better than School of Rock
You will crash, and when you do
These devoted and disturbing people will be waiting here for you

Da da da dat da dat da da da da ya da
Da da dat dat da ya da! (For you!)
Da da da dat da dat da da da da ya da
Da da dat dat da…

Everybody! Here we go

Da da da dat da dat da da da da ya da (For you!)
Da da dat dat da ya da!
Da da da dat da dat da da da da ya da
Da da dat dat da… (For you!)