[Intro, Pickle Jar]

It was moments before high noon in Cold Creek. The sun was a-blazin’, the townsfolk were nervous…
And down on Main Street, a frankfurter and an apple prepared to face off
They both
Looked
CONDIMENT

(Bird call, bell ring)
Frankfurter: Ready?
Apple: Ready
Pickle Jar: Draw

Where do I start? All of this is dreadful
You want some negative words? I got a handful
Of rhymes. That are terrible and wicked

And I can make the terrible terrific when I kick it!
Wh-wh-wicked, I can flip it in reverse and:
Makе it wonderful without a need to rehearsе it!
Take ya head full of dreadful and make it dreamy
I can turn your sadness into smiles when you see me

Oh, leave me alone! I think this place is awful
You're a frankfurter while I prefer a falafel
Every waffle, every frozen food is horrendous
And this is going from awesome to stupendous!
When this started, see, I knew you were resilient

More like resentful

See? That's brilliant!

WHAT?

Bad Apple, gimme another word
I can make it positive, rest assured!

Jealous. Joyful. Repulsive. Refined!
Gross. Great! What else you got on your mind?
This is dumb! It's divine, I'm delighted you visited!
MISERABLE. That's a little magnificent, isn't it?

SPOILED. Sparkling!
LOUSY. Laughter!
We could live-- HORRIBLY! HAPPILY EVER AFTER!