("Time. Time. What is time? Swiss manufacture it. French hoard it. Italians squander it. Americans say it is money. Hindus say it does not exist. You know what I say? I say, time is a crook.”)

I went out with my umbrella;
It looked a little grim
The sky was black, the air was cold, the day was gray and dim
But as I strolled towards my goal, the sun burst through the clouds
I threw down my umbrella and then I cried out loud

Oh! The future is a past that hasn't happened yet
And everybody knows that what you see is what you get
But the movies in your mind is a place you cannot find
And if you see ahead, you are missing your behind

I drove out to the airport
I tried not to be late
But I was very nervous as I walked up to the gate
I dreamed I saw an albatross that soared across the sky
And then I heard our plane had crashed and everyone had died

Oh! The future is a past that hasn't happened yet
And everybody knows that what you see is what you get
But the movies in your mind is a place you cannot find
And if you look ahead, you are missing your behind

I learned I had a tumor
I knew that I would die
I made a will, I took a pill, and prayed to God on high
But when I walked toward the light, I learned the truth at last
I'd been born in my own colon and the world was up my ass
Oh! The future is a past that hasn't happened yet
And everybody knows that what you see is what you get
But the movies in your mind are a place you cannot find
And if you look ahead, you are missing your behind

I don't want no more of army life
Gee, mom, I wanna go back to Ontario
Gee, mom, I wanna go home